What would you say?

[fufflebum]

If you had mad an arrangement to meet up with a friend and then they telephoned to tell you they had double booked for that day? (When I asked what they were up to as no reasons were given they said they had arranged to meet another 'mummy friend' and had completely forgotten) Am I cynical to think perhaps she was choosing one friendship over another?

[norksinmywaistband]

Think you are being a bit precious,

You have no idea why she is meeting with this other friend, you do not know which meet up was arranged first.

She may have felt that as you were a closer friend she could admit to you her mistake and hope you would understand and yet doesn't feel she divulge her memory lapse to a less close friend.

[thumbwitch]

is this the first time she has done this? or is it a regular feature? I have a friend who did this quite frequently and it used to piss me off a fair bit; I had to decide eventually whether her friendship was worth me putting up with her flakiness - it was.

So, if it is a one-off I would say you are possibly being over-sensitive and it is quite likely that she did just forget and made another arrangement. If she is a serial stander-upper, then think about how much she means to you and whether she is worth it.

[Hassled]

What thumbwitch said - we all have dippy moments and the meeting with the other friend may be very important for reasons we can't tell. The other friend may be going through a crisis or something.

So let it go - but if this is what she's always like, and you always feel like you'll be dropped if there's a better alternative, then just walk away from the friendship. Life's too short.

[MaggieMuggins]

I think it depends on whether it is normal for her to do that and, if so, whether she is worth putting up with it for.

I have a friend who is generally a bit emotionally selfish and cancels last minute, messes me about etc, but I know that it's not deliberate and she makes up for that in a whole number of other ways.

I have also had friends who are forgetful/unorganised, which irritates me beyond belief. In each case I had to decide whether I wanted to invest my time in that friendship.

Oh, and I have another friend who gets VERY annoyed if people do what your friend has done and makes it very clear that she won't put up with being 'seciond best' or cancelled on at the last minute if a better offer comes along. As a result people don't mess her around! Might be worth a try if you feel that you're being used.