How can I make him feel better?

[BrahmsThirdRacket]

This is a bit ironic as I contributed to a thread a few days ago on a similar thing. Anyway...

Basically, a couple of nights ago we were having sex. DP started to get, ahem, close and started going too fast and too hard, and holding my head at an awkward angle (by accident - I was on top and he was hugging me). My jaw was trapped against his shoulder and I couldn't really speak, but I said 'Ow' a few times, but he didn't hear (and probably thought it was noises of enjoyment. When he finally let me go, I burst into tears (feeling a bit fragile and hormonal atm). He was devastated. He is a lot bigger than me (I am quite a small person and he has rugby-player type build) and thinks it's all his fault.

Now, I have completely got over it, and I did within about 5 mins. I trust him completely, and it's just bad luck he didn't understand me, and in normal circumstances I wouldn't have cried. But he feels really really awful about it and can't stop mentioning it. I have told him a lot that it's fine and he mustn't feel bad, but he still does. We had sex this morning, but he wouldn't go 'all the way'. I think he is scared of hurting me again. He rang me from work asking if I was 'alright' (I am).

I'm just worried that this might turn into a bigger deal than it needs to be, and he might be too scared to sleep with me in case he damages me.

[BITCAT]

All you can do is reassure him as much as possible. Maybe try and find some time to discuss it properly and reassure him that it is ok. These things happen sometimes in the heat of the moment..and my dp would be the same if he thought that he had hurt me.

[damnedchilblains]

I think maybe you should actually sit him down and talk about it. Tell him that you understand it was an accident and you don't want him to feel bad. Then make a joke of it and initiate. Maybe make a romantic night of it so you're both at ease.

Or you could just go down on him and I'm sure he would forget aaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll about it

[BrahmsThirdRacket]

I'm ahead of you chilblains, woke him up with a BJ this am, which led to sex, but he stopped before it reached crisis point. I have reassured him about 5 times now, and every time he says he's over it now, but then later mentions he's still bothered. Maybe it will just take a bit of time? I hate to think of him feeling that he's hurt me. His ex developed issues with intimacy and I suspect he thinks it was his fault (although there was a clear explanation elsewhere). Really don't want him to think the same thing is going to happen to me.

[Malificence]

He's obviously a very caring man and it will just take a bit of time to get over it for him.

I suppose all you can really do is keep encouraging him so he sees it hasn't put you off sex at all.
He'll most likely be a bit careful the first couple of times but I'm sure he'll be fine.