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Relationships

Letters from exes.

7 replies

Runnerbean · 23/02/2010 18:15

A friend of mine found some letters from an ex gf in her dh's stuff. The letters are over 20 years old but the fact that he had kept them troubled her.
I had a sneaky look in my dh's old stuff and thankfully only found the letters that i had written him years ago, which I thought was sweet.
Are men more sentimental than women, would you be jealous? i didn't know what to say to her. How would you feel? i don't think she has anything to worry about, but I suspect i would be jealous myself of this ex.

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bowbluebell · 23/02/2010 18:28

I know where DH keeps letters and photos from his ex. Have stumbled across them a couple of times and felt shaken and jealous for no good reason (although perturbed that all the letters were in Italian so I didn't know what they were about!!). I think it's normal to feel a bit odd but I'm glad that DP keeps them and has fond memories of their time together, that's emotionally healthy.

I have kept photos and an engagement ring from my ex. Would not even occur to DH to be jealous, I don't think!

As a footnote, I felt much better on the one occision we bumped into his ex. I'd built her up to be some Mediterranean goddess. We were off to lunch in Mayfair and so I was wearing killer heels and a Paul Smith dress. She had on a poncho and a slight rash. It made her more human (and made me forget how good she looked in the beach photo...)

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aurynne · 23/02/2010 19:32

I keep photos and letters from all my exes and would go ballistic if anyone challenged me about them. They are memories from other periods of my life, some very happy, and I can see no reason to destroy them. He is with you now, why should he forget all his past?

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heQet · 23/02/2010 19:39

Is she sure he'd not just forgotten all about them?

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youngblowfish · 23/02/2010 19:43

Petty, retrospective jealousy is just that. A little pointless, TBH.

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Runnerbean · 23/02/2010 20:05

heQet, yes that's what my dh said. Thought she was over reacting, he didn't even know he still had my letters. I didn't tell him I'd been looking, I just casually enquired if he still had them.

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heQet · 23/02/2010 20:07

Yup. My husband had a photo of his ex-fiancee in the bottom of a bag of his junk when we first got together. I burned it

It's been 12 years now and he's yet to notice