Intimacy after a baby?

[TootsieSmith]

Hi everyone,
I have not posted very much on here but do read a lot of the posts, and I am often impressed at some of the advice people are given, so I'm hoping somebody will be able to give me a shove in the right direction here.

DH and I have always had a very active sex life, since we first got together as students, but since we welcomed our first child a year ago I have been struggling with sex.

The thing is, I have a high libido, and do enjoy being intimate with my husband, but it's almost as if after a day of being mummy to DD, and playing the little housewife...after DD has gone to bed I can't seem to get out of mummy mode!

When we have done it, I find myself really self concious, and feel almost as if I have done something wrong and dirty. It's a feeling of being ashame I guess, and I can't seem to shift it. And I am not enjoying sex very much at all, I haven't had an orgasm since DD was born, despite always looking forward to sex.

DH and I are still very affectionate, lots of hugs and kisses, but I can't figure out where this shameful feeling has come from. DH is very understanding about this, and I do still give him plenty of affection.

But I was wondering if any other mums have felt like this after having children, and if so, how did you overcome it? In my logical mind I know that there is nothing wrong with sex, and that is a perfectly natural thing to do, but this feeling always creeps over me afterwards.

I would be glad to hear of any useful advice, sorry if this post is a bit jumbled!

[wheniwishuponastar]

Hiya - just wanted to say i sometimes feel like that - and think the same (there's nothing wrong with it). i haven't had a child but have been with my partner for 8 years. for the first four years it was as you describe before your child. the last four years have been as you describe without.

i did start going to a sex therapist. but stopped when we moved house. i see a regular therapist, but haven't broached this subject (and don't know if i will).

i will be watching this thread with interest to see if anyone has anything helpful or insightful to offer.

my partner has a v high drive.