My DH works in an extremely stressful job which has had an impact on his health for years. He has been on medication for the physical problems he has as a result for a long time but only recently has he admitted he is really depressed (thank god - I have thought this to be the case for years.)
So in a sense things are finally moving in the right direction - he is getting some counselling and is seriously considering leaving his job. I am being as supportive as I can and really trying to make allowances for the fact that he is not well.
But but but my problem is that I feel so bloody neglected by him. He says he loves me and DD but he so rarely shows any real signs of affection for me. I feel I do 95% of the physical and emotional work of bringing up our daughter. I take responsibility for pretty much everything in our lives except his work (ie family relationships, friendships, holidays, day-to-day household stuff) and I'm not really getting anything back as a result.
I know that depression saps the life out of you and I am trying so hard not to resent it but sometimes it just feels he makes no effort to think of me and my needs too. He barely talks to me when we spend time together and I find the silence incredibly draining.
Any ideas on how I could improve our situation? Sometimes I find it hard to imagine our future together, but leaving him isn't something I can realistically consider at the moment - wouldn't be fair on DD. Plus I suppose I still hope that one day our relationship will make us both happy.
This has turned into an essay - sorry - any advice much appreciated.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Depressed and silent DH
8 replies
upsoearly · 20/12/2009 09:35
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.