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Families and money argument

3 replies

allthemorestollenforme · 14/12/2009 10:30

My Dad is sulking with me as I've borrowed/been given money by my DMum.

I'm expecting a baby and asked my Mum if there was any chance they could help pay off a car loan before the baby came (Background to this is that they have given my DSister a great deal of money to help with her house which they are not expecting back).

Mum did seem pleased to be asked (though I found it very embarrassing) and said of course it would be better to have the money now then in however many years time. This was a few months ago - and I've now found out that my dad is angry and sulking with me because I didn't ask him as well. He's now not visiting me which is upseting me. All this has really annoyed my DH who will be very upset on my behalf if my Dad doesn't visit when the baby arrives. I thought that my Mum would speak to my Dad before agreeing to this - and I do find my Mum easier to approach especially about something like this.

I'm tempted to ignore my Dad's sulk (I hate sulking) and let him get over it in his own time but then if he doesn't visit DH has said he won't be welcome in our house ever again.

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sweetnsour · 14/12/2009 13:51

How awful for you.

Talk to your Mum and try and get her to get your dad to visit. Then - more importantly - talk to your dad. He's complaining you didn't communicate with him re the car loan, after all, so now's your chance to get conversation moving too.

Loyal as your DH is, throwing a wobbly about yr dad is just upping the tension stakes. That ain't helpful.

Just perservere and keep communicating. Good luck!

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allthemorestollenforme · 14/12/2009 14:10

Visits are a bit tricky as I live 200 miles away from my family.

I think your right about the communication though - it would have been easy to ask them both for the money if I lived closer and could have spoken to them both at the same time but I don't so I asked on the phone which meant speaking to just 1 of them.

Trouble is my Dad has always been this way and DH and he already have a sensitive relationship due to my Dad holding grudges and sulking.

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allthemorestollenforme · 15/12/2009 15:32

Wanted to post again and say thanks.

I have spoken directly to my Dad and apologised for not involving him too and we've cleared the air - he's sorry he didn't tell me why he was sulking as telling me would have meant I could have sorted this so much earlier!

He'll now be visiting when the baby arrives so a good result!