Ok here we go again

[changequick1]

My DH and I have had a pretty rocky year. Recently I started a very demanding job, DH has not been supportive. Complaining, talking about it being "my work". Our financial situation is not great, and the final straw was him deciding to purchase a car, despite my saying it's not a good idea at the moment, and to wait a year, save up etc. Our marriage has always been one where he says "I want to do it so I'm going to and that's it".
Have many many times decided I wanted to step away and have even set ultimatums. He has ignored these and i have not followed through with what I have said would happen (I'd leave) and so I am a lot to blame.
There is basically no relationship left now. I feel like we are colleagues. When he's around I'm unhappy / unsettled and feel stifled. So much so that I find I can't get on with things that I need to do. There are DCs and property involved.
I'm sad at the thought of making the break official, but can't see where else it can go. Yes have had counselling etc. The counsellor told me he was abusive and to take care of myself.

[mrsboogiefairylights]

well why not have a new life to go with your new year?

the kids will probably be better off if you go your separate ways if it is not a happy home.

[hetherine]

oh my dear what can I say except how awful.If you are serious about a break-up then firstly seek legal advice their are plenty of free legal clinics. I say this just so you'd know where you stand financially.
it is obvious that this abusive relationship has to change. have you tried relate or such counselling together?

[changequick1]

yes had counselling , see OP

[kinnies]

I know it sounds cold, but do get legal advise before talking to him.
I'm not saying that you should want to do him out of anything, but he could get nasty.
Good luck, you sound like you are sure its over.