so fed up with DH, emotionally shattered.

[Disenchanted3]

Hes ill, i know that but I'm coming to the end of my tether.

He takes tabs at night that make it hard fo him to wake up, but i have to wake him up bout 25 times, he then shouts at me and calls me names for doing so, but what am i supposed to do? let him sleep all day?

This morning was DSs birthday, he did the same but i said to him clearly when i had woken him up for the 30th time (no joke) ' i am going downstairs if you do not wake up now you will miss him opening hois gifts'

he went straight back to sleep

i went downstairs but DS said wheres dad, so i had to shout up, i shouted loudly and angrily.

he came downbut hasbeen horrid all morningmagsmaryremarks.

he is a bully.

im no angel but he bullies me and ive had enough

and ps ... hes supposed to rtake his tabs at about 9pm so we wakes normally, but he plays on the PS3 all night till 2am THEN comes to bed & takes it, thats why he wont wake.

[Disenchanted3]

Please don't say jus leave, itys not that easy, ive been with him since 15, we have 3 small kids, i have anxiety problems ( couldn't live alone) and really really love him.

this 'illness' has changed him so much

[Curiousmama]

What's wrong with him D3? Could his behaviour be a side effect of meds?

[rubyslippers]

you shouldn't just leave him

but i would unplug the playstation for a start

is he being treated for his illness??

[Curiousmama]

Oh and I've had anxiety problems for years been off meds for a few months and finally seem ok...I hope!

[Disenchanted3]

depression, severe tho.

[LIZS]

He needs to recognise his mismanagement of the medication is causing a problem and limit his usage of ps3 accordingly. Lack of sleep makes anyone grumpy but it is infuriating if self inflicted

[Curiousmama]

Oh no not good then Not that any illness is of course but with you having anxiety can't be easy.

How long has he been on his meds? Sometimes they can have strange reactions until they kick in.

[Curiousmama]

Are you scared of him D3?

[Disenchanted3]

years now.

dosage keeps going up.

he is turning abusive though

[Disenchanted3]

When he 'starts' CM, yes.

he esculates and i can't calm him.

he shouts, swears, punches things.

[poshwellies]

Sounds like the meds aren't working to be honest-does he have regular reviews in reagrds top his medication?

Is he under mental health services?

And what about you,are you recieving treatment for your anxiety?

[poshwellies]

regards to

[Curiousmama]

D3 you know this can't go on it's unhealthy not just for you but dcs. Can you make an appointment alone and see his GP?

[notnowbernard]

He is suffering with a serious illness but this does mot mean he is unable to take some responsibility for his behaviour and attempts at recovery

If I stayed up until 2-3am on the computer I would be unable to function during the day, and I am not depressed

Healthy sleep behaviour is so important when battling depression. What meds is he on?

[Disenchanted3]

Thanks

we talk, he seems to get it, is all apologetic then its the same again the net day.

[cestlavielife]

sorri but he is using his depression as an excuse. my ex had "severe depression" - GP,s psychiatrist - poitned out to me time and time again - that does not explain or jsutify any kind of controlling abusive behaviour.

depression does not make you play on your psp all night (ok til 2.00 am.) - he ahs meds for his inosmnia, he CAN take tehm at a more reasonable time.

depression does not mean you cannot take responsibility.

he HAS totake repsonsibility for his behaviour.

if he misses his son's presnt opening - his problem his choice.
stop looking after him like a child.

he may be depressed but it soudnslike he on meds - he has to take charge of his depression. HE has to. you do not.

you CAN live without him - he isnt exactly supporting you at the momeent is he? he sint taking any repsonsibility is he?

i am being harsh because i have been there - and it needed to be said to me too!

if he really cannto take repsonsibility for his meds, for his illness, for managing it - then you have to seriously consider whether you prepared to keep looking after him. he just gives you more anxiety by the sound of it. what is the point?

he CHOOSES to stay up til 2 am and to not take his meds at 9 pm!! he makes that choice. you need to leave him to suffer the consequences of that...

[cestlavielife]

ps "he shouts, swears, punches things. "

that is NOT depression either.

does he do that everywhere or just with you?

speak to his GP about this. make an appt for you and get it recorded.

keep a diary of this behaviour.

if he seems out of control dial 999.

if he is "ill" then take action to call in the medics. if he isnt ill and does this, call the police. either way - 999.

[SolidGoldBrass]

CLV gives very good advice. However 'ill' he is, there is no excuse for this behaviour. YOU matter, too and the household should not revolve around 'managing' his moods.