What i used to love in my boyfriend was that he was an introverted, homely sort who doesn't go out drinking etc etc, i always thought he'd be a family man...nope. 5 years later and everything has changed. It's getting to the point where i want to have an affair really, really badly, i don't want to throw my boyfriend out, because i don't want to be totally on my own! But i'm really even sick of seeing things that belong to him, i feel used, i feel trapped by my emotions. In fact, having my boyfriend back to normal would be great, but i think when the baby arrives it will only be worse.
I'm pregnant, boyfriend doesn't want it, he's going to 'see how he copes' when it arrives. But i hardly see him now, i go to work really early, come back at 5.30 ish, he doesn't get back until about 7.30 because he works whatever hours he wants and can't be bothered to get up until about 11 in the morning, when he does get back he often goes round his friends house for hours playing video games, maybe pick us up some food (for me to cook) from the supermarket at times too late for me to want to eat anything, doesn't matter if i'm ill or whatever. If i make a fuss he rings me and apologises in this 'little boy' voice but he'll still go, but then a few days later accuse me of 'trying to steal his independance' if i don't just smile. Never used to be like this, just three months ago he used to come home about 5.30 and we'd have long conversations and i was just so so happy and he said he was very content (we've been together years). But since he went to his friends for some 'respite' with the unplanned pregnancy, he's found a kindred spirit it seems and they would rather spend time together playing games and talking about geeky things. Yes i'm jealous, should i not be? He was my best friend! Add to that, i work all day, and i'm expected to cook, to clean, and sort out all the bills etc. At the weekends all he does is ride his bikes, if we go out for a nice walk together he'll enjoy it but say 'oh, what great weather, i should be on the bike'. He goes away for weekends racing all the time, four nights at a go (like right after i found out i was pregnant and was in shock). When i ask him why he is so unempathic he says he's probably autistic or something, ha, what an excuse. I want to throw him out, i want to cheat, i just want him normal! Ack! I'm so upset about all this. Am I overreacting? How can i encourage this straying cat back to my home? Or should i give up trying and be a single mother? I've tried playing betty crocker but it's just not me, why should I? My one consolation is that in two years we'll have to move away anyway...no more friend around, and a proper job for him (he's studying an advanced degree). But will we make it together that far? lol. I can't believe i'm bringing a child into this. Two years is a long time and a lot of stress to manage a job, a house, a part time degree, and a baby and my constant nagging irritation at his childish behaviour. Suggestions?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My boyfriend is like a stray cat...
6 replies
SevernTrentWater · 10/06/2009 19:46
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.