Moving in together but for the wrong reasons.

[DotNoodle]

I have been single for around 6 years. I went through a stage of hated being on my own (at the start) but then grew quite fond of it. Then recently I decided I would like to be a relationship again, I started seeing someone and it has become quite serious.

He has asked me about us moving in together (me move to his house) and I suddenly realised that I would miss being single! I would miss living on my own, I'm quite a solitary person and I don't think I'd like to live with anyone again I like my own space too much.

However, there are other reasons to consider moving in. I HATE where I live. I have terrible neighbours and am constantly harrassed on a daily basis. The kids cannot play out here as they get harrassed by the local feral kids and the main one is that DS is currently in the catchment area for a really, really bad secondary school.

So, do I agree to move in with him for the sake of moving out of this area and getting DS into a better school - giving up my single life in the process or hold on to my current life?

I know full well that if I didn't live in this area, I would not move in with him. So it would all be for the wrong reasons.

[YanknCock]

Very tricky. How long have you been with this guy?

Are you not in a position to move yourself and the kids (on your own) if you don't like the area?

[DotNoodle]

No unfortunately not All the houses in this area will not take on LHA. And it's impossible to get a council house here now. You have to be on the waiting list for years.

[YanknCock]

How serious is it? And how long have you been together?

I suppose it wouldn't seem right to move in with the guy if you are just using him for the area he lives in.

There was a thread on here recently where a woman moved in with a guy she didn't really love, for the sake of a better area and schools for her kids. She's regretting it quite a bit now as she wants to break it off with him. Might help to read that, it may clarify things for you.

Sorry not to be of much help!

[YanknCock]

Other thread here.

[mayorquimby]

it's not fair on the guy to use him in this way.
it's quite mean and manipulative.

[mrsboogie]

Don't do it unless you actually want to live with him. You will just be exchanging one bad situation for another. You have developed an independent streak and would probably have to work hard at adjusting to living with him if you wanted to - as you don't you will feel like a prisoner in your own home and everything will get on your nerves.

[theoptimist]

Hi there, No I don't advise you moving in with him. You'd lose your council house for a start, which are very difficult to get. Why not try staying with him in the Summer holidays, keeping your house, and seeing how it works out, before deciding.
I certainly wouldn't advise you moving in with someone for the reasons you give. Ask yourself if you'd like a man to move with you for similar reasons.