Considering doing something irresponcible - but is it really that bad?

[LG8]

I have been with my partner 6 months. We get on brilliantly and the kids get on brilliantly too.

Now, for many reasons, the thought of moving in together has come up very early. Reasons being:

I HATE where I live - to the point where I am suffering anxiety and depression but I am stuck here ... unless I move in with DP.

Our catchment schools are failing/special measures, shit basically ... the schools in DP's catchment are very good. I need to apply for DS's secondary place by October and if I moved in with DP now rather than later, he'd get into a very good school.

------

So there's the daft "reasons to rush" reasons out of the way, other reason is that we hate being apart basically.

But I am aware that 6 months is really no time at all. Am I being utterly irresponsible to be considering this?

The kids are all up for it btw.

[Hawkmoth]

Moved in with DP after two months .

Unexpected things: He has smelly feet and grinds his teeth at night. He cooks and irons and cleans.

[BananaFruitBunny]

You'll get your kids in to a decent school!

What's irresponsible about that?

[LG8]

Well at the moment I live in a shitty council house and my mum keeps saying "don't give up the council house, you'll never get another one ..." but tbh, I don't want another one EVER AGAIN. I hate it so much here, I will not miss it one bit.

I spend all my time at the windows agonising over kids being in my garden, being in my shed, throwing stuff at the windows ... I can't allow my kids to play out, even in their own garden for their own safety. The house row is full of mice and the floorboards stink of piss that won't come out, even with bleach. I dread summer because I know I will be surrounded by kids, teens and roudy adults until gone 10pm at night, in my garden, on my car etc ...

Worst case scenario ... me and DP split up, I move out but at least I'll still be away from this hell hole.

[GypsyMoth]

are you renting right now? Are you going to be giving up a tenancy or selling?

[LG8]

just a council tenancy. But I'm not doing this just "for now", we have plans for years ahead. I want to be with him, just usually I would have waited. My reasons to rush it through seem silly to my mother who says I'm being stupid giving up a council house....but when its a council house you hate, how bad can it be?

And he is great with my kids and his own. He even still plays a parenting role with his ex-step-son who is now 18.

[GypsyMoth]

Well it sounds like you live in 'shameless'territory!! I gave up my tenancy once, hated the place. I think I'd go ahead in your circumstances.

[Alibabaandthe40bunnies]

He sounds fab, you sound in love

Sod all the sensible reasons to do it - move in!

I feel the need to tell you that DH moved in with me after 2 months, so I'm a little biased.

Congratulations!

[staryeyed]

I have heard the nasty ending for someone in a similar situation. She was living in council accommodation (no kids) and had a horrible neighbour that harassed her. She couldn't get a transfer etc. She had been with her boyfriend for a year and decided to give up her council house and move in with him. This boyfriend was fine for a year and then they split up and she had to leave and had nowhere to go. Only the council now has no duty to house her and she has nowhere to go. I don't want to put a dampener on your plans but do consider the consequences.

[EllieG]

I moved in with DP after about 6 months. We've been together for 2 years and married for just under 1 now, and are very, very happy. Go for it!

[fourkids]

imho if you think it is right then do it, but if you have doubts - which presumably do to be posting the question? - then don't do it...yet.

when in doubt do nothing is often good advice.

I also posted on your school admissions query thread...if the school issue is putting pressure on you, go with plan a. I might be being a bit dim, but I don't get why anyone would criticise you

[GypsyMoth]

Staryeyed...... I gave up my tenancy and got another one few years down the line, so not always the case.

[iSOLOvechocolate]

Could you not move in with him and have a little savings account of your own so that should things not work out, you have a little money behind you for a private rent?

I'm in a(sort of)similar situation(crap area, kids in my garden vandalising etc)except that I own my house ~ well, I have a mortgage on it and in desparate need of a third bedroom. I have no possible chance of a move, but if I were you, I'd go for it!

[doesany1knowneilnash]

i to live in shit area all of the above(apart frm the mice urghhh) you describe but once i lock the door its ok sometimes people ae different when you move in with them just think about a little longer what would you do if you and him didnt get on?

[Springhassprung]

Live for what you need and want now, sort future problems out in the future No one ever knows really if their relationships will work, as this forum shows. Sounds like you think it will!

[Thefearlessfreak]

If you give up your tenancy and then need re-housing int the furture you'll be considered intentionally homeless and not eligible for housing

[Thefearlessfreak]

council housin that is of course0-

[IheartEASTEREGGS]

Go for it! Sounds like you have very good reasons for wanting to do it and you could be very happy together
I moved in with my (now) DH 11 years ago as his flatmate. 2 months later he was my DP and 11 years later he is DH and we have 2 kids

[DisasterEggs]

Do it. If he's nice to you and you are happy why the hell not. Your DS will get in to a good school. You'll all get out of a shitty area. If it all goes tits up you can move again have little rainy day account just in case. 6 months in to my relationship with DH i was 4 months pregnant and living with him. 14 years later still fine.

[staryeyed]

Ilovetiffany- It very much depends on circumstances surrounding why you got a council house in the first place and the situation that led to homelessness the second time (and the councils interpretion of the housing laws).