What would you do

[FallOutBoy]

Your Dh is up till all hours on internet. You get up one night to find him switching v. quickly to screensaver with a boner on him and arguing that he wasnt doing anything????

[NewAmazingBeginning]

If it was my DH, I would be very surprised but probably tease him.

What do you want to do?

[Deemented]

Suss!!!

Ask him what the hell - or who the hell he's playing at. Sounds like he's indulging in a little cyber sex - i'd be nipping it in the bud forthwith.

[FallOutBoy]

I dont know to be honest. I think Im over-reacting. I know men do porn but since then Im thinking of this as the other woman. Porn I can handle, if he has some facebook chat room relationship type thing going on I cant handle that.

[themoon66]

I'd leave it for now, but try and sneak up on him another night. It's most likely just a bit of wank infront of some porn, but you need to find out for sure that he's not having cybersex with someone he knows.

Well that's what I would do anyway.

[FallOutBoy]

How do you nip it in the bud?

[Dropdeadfred]

what did you serioulsy think he was doing in the early hours on the internet???

[NewAmazingBeginning]

Goodness, didn't think it could involve another women. Just assumed it was computer porn.

Can you check his history?

[FallOutBoy]

His history is cleared when he turns off computer.
Drop dead I didnt know he was up.

[moonincancer]

go to bed together from now on. if hes wide awake he could give you a massage or read.

[blinks]

i'd think he wasn't very discreet.

does he often stay up late on his own?

[FallOutBoy]

yes he does

[Iklboo]

Stays up late on own
Clears history on computer
Switches to screensaver and has a boner

Hmmm....

Ebay?

Either he's got himself an expensive porn habit (most are subscriber according to BIL) or he's cybering himself silly

[blinks]

porny porny porn.

tricky one. it's probably escapism. is there something going on just now? something stressful? how's your relationship etc?

it's simultaneously worrying, hilarious and dubious suddenly seeing your other half wanking. it's all a bit.... animal.

[Deemented]

Iklboo - i ted to agree with you.

OP - now you just have to decide what you want to do about it.

You could either continue to go to bed alone, effectively allowing him to continue his behaviour, or you can sit down and talk to him about it - find out what he is doing - is it cyber with random internet strangers, is there one person he's having a cyber relationship with. Turn the tables on him. Ask him how he would feel if he came downtairs to find you getting yourself off in front of the pooter. Ask him why he feels the need to do this.

Whatever you decide to do - good luck!

[HolyGuacamole]

Do you care if he looks at a bit of porn? That's the least harmful thing he could be doing. If porn doesn't bother you, then just ask him, in fact, just ask him anyways? If he thinks porn bothers you (or if he is hugely embarrassed), he is more likely to lie about it? My DH looks at porn sometimes and it doesn't bother me one bit, but everyone has different levels of what is acceptable.

If it is porn and you don't think that is acceptable then be careful not to make him feel ashamed about it. He's only human and there are ways you can tell how you feel about in a reasonable manner.

I'd find out what he is doing before speculating too much though.

[Deemented]

If it is just porn - would you watch it together?

And i don;t mean that in a pervy way, either...

[mysterymoniker]

ask him if he needs a hand?

[FallOutBoy]

As Ive said I dont have a problem with porn. I dont know what Im looking for here I just have a feeling my worst nightmare is about to come true

[Divineintervention]

Leave it and catch him at it in a few days. Or you could distract him and check history before he has a chance to delete. Check cookies too.

[AnyFucker]

Out of interest, how do you check history and check cookies ?? Am thinking I might need to cover some of my own tracks . Anyway, thats another thread......

I would ask him why he prefers to wank to porn/whatever than to come upstairs and screw you silly ???

I don't have a problem with occasional porn but this seems excessive and obsessive.

[Fizzfiend]

BTW, porn these days is not an expensive habit...plenty of good free porn on places like youporn.com ... just to put your mind at rest from that point of view. I used to get upset when boyfriends had porn mags, but then realised (after I enjoyed them myself) that they mean absolutely nothing emotionally...I mean ABSOLUTELY nothing.

[Divineintervention]

My PC has an 'tools' menu that you can delete them all, used to get rid of birthday present evidence.

[DippyDino]

Lol @ 'tools menu...