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Dilema

5 replies

Pen67 · 29/12/2008 12:19

You helped me so much earlier this week I thought I would pose a question for you.

I was a victim of Domestic Violence and got rid of my abuser a month ago.
At the time I didnt believe I was a victim but the police and victim support have convinced me I was cleverly "groomed" into believing it was mt fault.
So all my thoughts are still abit in that vein although things are getting back to normal...whatever that is.

he even cleverly made me believe I wanted him back....

My question is this.... is it my "duty" to tell the mother of my ex's child, who hes never met, whats happened. Shes coming over from Australia and a year ago she asked me if he was capable of kidnap. A year ago I didnt think he was capable of assault!!!

Noone would believe he was capable. The charming man, and good friend, can talk his way out of anything.

I dont trust him an inch. Ive discovered he doesnt see his other children for some "reason"....and I dont want my children near him

what would you do?
I dont want to sound like I want revenge. I dont...I want to hide.
But I want to do whats right. If something happened I would never forgive myself.

OP posts:

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Seabright · 29/12/2008 12:22

Tell her what happened to you. Do it as calmly as you can, so she can make her own assessment.

If it was the other way round, you'd want her to tell you.

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BitOfFunUnderTheMistletoe · 29/12/2008 12:23

I would tbh.

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JingleBennysAndJooniper · 29/12/2008 12:24

I think you should tell her the facts. You would want to know in her situation.

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BlueSapphire77 · 29/12/2008 12:26

She asked you for a reason..because she has her suspicions, and hoped you would back them up.
I agree totally with SeaBright ..

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Pen67 · 29/12/2008 12:30

Thankyou. Thats what I thought.
The fall-out will be massive.

I should have added that about 6 months ago a friend of my ex came to him because his ex wife had taken his daughter to Egypt to start a new life as she had a job as a teacher there.
my ex got straight onto the computer to talk to his friends in Egypt, there was talk of pressurising the school to making her lose her job.
although kidnap wasnt mentioned in that case I felt uncomfortable.

added to that my ex has always felt his ex "stole" his sperm and left him