evil/stupid SIL - what to do?

[QwertyQueen]

Hi,
DH and I recently went to visit my brother and his wife in Australia. I have never connected with her but have always made an effort because my brother and I are quite close. I have found her comments in the past a bit off eg: she tells me things about their sex life!! Nooooooooooo...
Anyway DH and I were discussing her oddness last night and he said, well I wasn't going to tell you this BUT....
The last day we were there, my brother and I went to the shop to buy a present for DS. Whilst we were gone DH was in the bathroom shaving, and she walks in (!!!) and looks at him and asks him why he never became a model. She then said that the first time I showed her a photo of him, she thought "Phwoar, he is good looking" and said she was surprised that I could pull someone like him.

I am so freaked out that she did this. And I feel slightly shit about myself, wondering if everyone thinks this about us. Yes, my DH is very good looking, and I guess I am average.

But, do I just leave it as it is? Half of me want to tell my brother, he would be shocked. But I ultimately want him to be happy, so maybe should not say anything and know for myself what she is like?

[Pheebe]

Have to say I'm wondering more why your DH told you this but that aside I would leave it. Telling your brother will achieve nothing imo except hurt him and drive a wedge between the two of you. You live in different countries, let it go.

[TheCrackFox]

Your DH should have kept his trap shut. Don't bother telling your bro, it will cause upset and your bro will fall out with you not his DW.

[mumoverseas]

Qwerty, I very much doubt that your DH feels that you are 'average' and I'm sure he chose you and married you because he loves you.
I wouldn't say anything to your brother but I'd be sooooooo tempted next time you speak to her to casually enquire how someone like her managed to hook such a good catch as your brother!

[QwertyQueen]

thanks for the replies...
Although it is upsetting, I am glad he told me. I would rather know what I am dealing with.
She really thinks she is gorgeous (fake hair, fake boobs) and I think cannot understand why any man would not want her.

She has caused many upsets in our family, so I guess I should just accept it as par for the course.

[Smee]

I agree, it's good your DH told you - be far more weird if he hadn't. She sounds horrendous, but then you knew that already. My brother's with a witch too, though her tactics are slightly different. I've decided never to diss her to him as that could cause a rift, but to be on hand to listen and to try and be a friend and sister so I'm there if he ever needs me - my SIL is v.devisive and continually tries to turn him against me. I've thought and thought and thought about it, but realistically, that's all you can do. Sad though to be in that situation..

[Ronaldinhio]

so what!!

She's a bit of an arse, you and your husband agree

I don't imagine for one second that your husband or anyone else wonders how come you "pulled" him.
Give yourself a reassuring preen and shake your tail feathers at your handsome husband

[mumoverseas]

er, hello, she is FAKE! I'm sure we'd all look stunning if we all had fake bits! An old friend of mine made the mistake once of marrying (in his words) a dollybird. She was stunning to look at, drop dead gorgeous in his words but had absolutely no personality. He said that she was like a beautifully wrapped present but when you opened it it was an empty cardboard box! It took him about 7 years to get rid of her and said he'd never make that mistake again (assume he meant marrying someone with absolutely no personality) It was a very expensive mistake for him too!

[whomovedmychocolate]

So she's 'Champion The Wonder Slut' she lives on the other side of the world. I wouldn't worry about it. Your DH is a bit thick to tell you this though

These things have a habit of working themselves out - she'll probably run off with the pool guy soon!

[QwertyQueen]

LOL at the pool guy!!!!

I just feel so sorry for my brother.
You know, I have never seen her laugh.
Sad.

[superloopy]

Phew... I started to red your post and thought 'OH SHIT has my SIL found MN!!'

I live in Australia and my DH's sister and her DH recently visitied but that is where the similarities end.

Need a cup of tea now...

[QwertyQueen]

you sure you are not inflated and peroxided?

[thegreatescape]

sorry, but think your dh may have told you because he was flattered at her crappy flirting and couldn't help himself..

I think its quite unusual for a very good looking guy to have an 'average' looking wife so I suspect you are much better looking than you think but haven't had to buy it out of a catalogue.

[Pheebe]

Think you need to develop a large streak of amusement where she's concerned. Imagine her boobs blowing up then exploding in her face every time you think of or see her. Belittling her in your own mind will help you put less importance on her pathetic nastiness. It says more about her lack of self confidence than it does about your 'attractiveness'

[superloopy]

Definately NOT inflated - unless milk counts!
Not Peroxide either - Clairol Nice 'n easy 103 Natural beige blonde!

If you were my SIL you would be the inflated one!

[QwertyQueen]

ah thank you so much!
That is a really good way of thinking about it.
I feel a lot better.
DH did say I should take it from where it comes.
He said he couldn't tell if she was flirting / making a move or if she was trying to flatter him so that he would like her when not many people do. Either way he felt really uncomfortable.

[mariew1974]

I think your dh was right intelling you. If he hadn't and you found out in a few months and wrote that message on here he would have been called all the names under the sun. I've found out its always best to know your enemy, which if shes saying these things to another man other than your db, she is.
I'd laugh at the fact that she has to go to these lengths to get people to like her, you dont and you've got your man and she hasn't got a hope in hell of getting him. I do feel for your db though, but I'd just be there for him and not say anything, it could come back and bite you if you do.