My female friend if 45 and has DS aged 5.
When she got pregnant (5 years ago) her boyfriend freaked. It was a planned thing but he got scared and left her.
He is also 45 but spends most of his free time in the gym, on sailing holidays and out with the lads. He is in very good shape but completely loves himself.
She found out a couple of years ago that he started seeing someone within weeks of her pregnancy, this relationship continued for 3 years (unknown to her at the time)
During this time, he "got back together" with my friend and they lived together at her house, but with no physical relationship. She was unaware of this girlfriend, she belived that he had issues with sex and agreed to give him time.
Anyway, she found out about girlfriend A 2 years ago. He promised to leave her but never did.
My friend moved away but boyfriend (who is IMO manipulative) constantly visited her and persuaded her to come back and move in with him.
To cut a long story short, in June this year they resumed the physical side of their relationship.
She found out this week that this was only because girlfriend A had told him the day before that she would no longer have anything to do with him. She found some phone bills which showed that he called girlfriend A within an hour of them having had sex (for the first time in 5 years).
Since then, these same phone bills have showed 2 new girls that he has called (late at night and consistantly) since girlfriend A ended their relationship.
She is in bits.
Her family have fallen out with her because of him and don't want anything to do with her (other than to see the little boy). She has lost a lot of friends over the years because of him and feels trapped.
Now, I think that she should leave him (as am sure most of you will think) but she says that she can't. Despite how he has treated her, she says that she loves him.
She says that at 45 she doesnt want to be by herself.
Are there any other options open to her?
She confronted him and he was quite nasty to her and said that she shouldnt snoop in his phone bills (she had lots of reasons to be suspicious). He said that as he hasnt slept with either of the 2 new girls that he doesnt see what the big issue is ... !!
Arggghhh, it drives me crazy that she wont leave him.
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Genuinely on behalf of a friend - what should she do? Bit long - sorry
12 replies
pamelat · 17/09/2008 12:32
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