Just a wee moan.

[RaspberrySheep]

Had a disappointing day today, my DS was invited to celebrate his friend's Birthday and was really looking forward to it. The friend's parents are very strict (but do love) their 2 DS's. They had decided that they would not have a party this year but we would all meet up to do something together. We spent a long time choosing a nice present yesterday (thought we would try extra hard as we were the only people invited) and DS helped me to wrap the present and write the card, then we sat and waited, and waited..... nobody turned up! Poor DS was gutted and it was a really beautiful day here, I would have taken DS to the beach for the day if we had known, but we had to stay near the house in case they turned up. This is the second time they have done this, a couple of weeks ago (the last arrangement we made), they didn't turn up because their DS was being 'a little brat' and had been grounded (he's 6). They didn't bother to contact me on either occasion to cancel. I appreciate parents have different ways of bringing their children up, but am feeling very sad for DS's friend and wondering what kind of Birthday he had
I'm hoping he wasn't still grounded, surely they would let him celebrate his Birthday or am I being too soft?

[veryunhappychappy]

no - it's pretty rude of them too!

[moondog]

How odd. And they still haven't phoned to say why?

[maidamess]

Did you ring them to find out where they were? if not, why?

[RaspberrySheep]

I text them the first occasion they let us down - that wasn't so bad as I hadn't told DS, it was going to be a suprise for him. At the risk of sounding sorry for ourselves, DS is an only child, so really looks forward to playdates. If I hadn't text I would be none the wiser. He had to know about the arrangements today as we went present shopping together - he gives me all the good advice about what kids his age are into! and was there when the invitation was made, so knew all about it, also I thought that Birthday arrangements are usually more or less set in stone, so thought it very unlikely this would happen again. I called once today but there was no answer, I didn't call again as part of me thought that they had done the inviting and so they should have let me know of any changes. Also, a bit pig headed of me, but I wondered why I should have to chase them up. I appreciate this was not in my FS's interest though. I hope there hasn't been an accident or something, but there are two parents and I'm sure one of them could have text to let me know what was going on. I would have if it was the other way round.

[RaspberrySheep]

FS = DS (typing in the dark!)

[RaspberrySheep]

Anyway, I know it's not a major issue compared to what some MNers are going through just now, we gave up waiting by 5pm and I whipped DS off to the park which he enjoyed, (well obviously he enjoyed that Raspberry!), but felt a bit let down to say the least and will know to be more cautious in the future. Suprised as we have always got on well, they are strict with their Ds's but their DS's are very lively. Just that grounding somebody on their Birthday seems a bit harsh and maybe not the route I would have choosen.
(Think I must be one of those 'cheerleading' mummys that the Daily Mail goes on about!)
Hope all the MNers who are having a difficult time begin to feel better very soon. x

[RaspberrySheep]

Choosen = chosen - time for bed me thinks.

[littlewoman]

Firstly, it's rude to you, and secondly it's extremely insensitive to your son's feelings. Whilst they are so busy being strict about their children's behaviour, they might want to make a mental note about their own. I'm really cross on your behalf at their rudeness.

[RaspberrySheep]

Thank you LW. I just thought that whatever the circumstances, usually a quick phone call or text can be made. Present is still sitting here, so I will take it round to them tomorrow. Weekend time is very precious to me and DS, as with all families.

[windygalestoday]

if i were you id have given the gift to my own ds and encourage different friendships to me they sound blardy rude.......

[RaspberrySheep]

Sounds like a plan windy, but I wouldn't want their DS to miss out on his present because his parents are being 'tricky'.

[windygalestoday]

you are far nicer than me raspberry lol - 14 years of motherhood has hardened me up

[queenrollo]

if it were me, at this point i'd just be blunt and phone until someone answered. Then if they don't have a good reason for a) not turning up and b) not letting you know there had been a change of plan then i'd tell them how upset your son was about the situation and that you would have appreciated being told they weren't coming so you hadn't wasted a lovely day indoors.
Im afraid for me after years of being let down by people like this (although this was before i had ds) i'm very quick now to go into self preservation mode and distance myself from them. My time and friendship is too precious to be wasted on others who are so thoughtless.