Is this quite odd, and rude, or is it me?

[bohemianbint]

Firstly - does anyone else think that in-laws should have their own topic?

Here's the thing. Whenever MIL leaves a message on the answerphone, it's always only exclusively to her son. She left a message last night saying:

"Hello, Mr. Boho, it's your mum. Just phoning to see how you got on at Bint's scan yesterday."

Any message she ever leaves is just to him. And if we ever arrange to go over there, she'll say, "When Mr. Boho comes" without ackowledging the fact that there is a Bint and and Boho baby. (And a bump.)

If my parents (or anyone else for that matter) leave a message, they always address it to all of us.

Am I just being a bit funny or is it odd? They do generally not talk to me, even when we see them.

[wildwoman]

lol I didn't read your name and was shocked she refered to you as a bint!

[charliecat]

Its rude. And probably on purpose. And im not sure how you could get your own back...if indeed you wanted too.

[hecate]

Yes. It's odd. And it's down to your dh to reply with "WE are fine, Boho is doing X" etc etc, reply all the time like they'd included you.

Or directly challenge them "Do you mean JUST me, or are you including MY FAMILY too?"

[OverMyDeadBody]

It's a bit odd considering they don't generally talk to you even when they see you as well! Sounds like maybe she's finding it hard to accept that her son has another woman in his life more important than her.

[Lizzylou]

Same with my IL's, then DH had a word and now poor MIL gets tongue tied trying to fit all our names on the voicemail message!

I used to fume when she'd call our home "Mr Lizzylou's house".

Because I moved up here to DH's home area it does make me feel like a spare part, but she's getting better.

[scanner]

My ex inlaws used to do this, until one day they changed - I realised it was because we'd re-recorded the message and changed it from H speaking to me. So they were responding to the person who'd recorded the message.

[Miaou]

That is Bloody Rude. Particularly when asking how he got on at your scan!!!

[bohemianbint]

Now you see, I think it's rude. DP doesn't (but then he was brought up by them so maybe he doesn't see it.)

I'm sure sometimes she does things deliberately. Really silly petty things. Like I've taught DS the word cat, so that's what he knows them as. Last time they were here I said "look, it's the cat" and she corrected me and said "pussy" and everytime I said cat she repeated the word pussy. I know it's all very trivial but it's just little things like that, I find them quite odd. And DS had no idea what she was on about...

[Dalrymps]

yeah thats just bad manners, sounds like they have a problem accepting he's an adult with his own seperate life/family.

[bohemianbint]

Oh, good. Is it worth doing anything do you think, or should I just rise above it? It's a bit tricky when DP doesn't see the problem but it really gets on my wick.

[hecate]

Can't you challenge her? For example, look her in the eye, smile and say "Please stop. We call it a cat, pussy sounds silly."

[Tortington]

my inlaws always talk to dh.

it used to piss me off

now i realise i dont have to talk t them

and its all good

[catinthehat]

I read the message as "you" plural, not "you" singular, assumed the whole family had gone to the scan.

[bohemianbint]

Nope, just me and DP - and she's definitely just asking him how he got on when I went...

[Fireflyfairy2]

I agree catinthehat.

You sounds like all of you!

[pelafina]

Message withdrawn

[Shizaru]

IT's more of a social etiquette thing and I think she probably just doesnt get it. I dont think its rude.