Ungrateful DP

[LikeAnAnimal]

I've been with my partner for a year and this christmas was our first together. We went to his parents.

Firstly, before we went he kept going on about how they were giving him money to put towards a £700 tv. (we don't like together yet).

Anyway when we got there his mum handed him a load of presents and gave him £100. He looked confused at the money and started on his presents and the first one was a gold watch to which he kind of pulled a face at , the rest of it was normal bits and pieces, aftershave, clothes etc and personally I thought he'd been given way too much considering he's in his late 30's but it wasnt my place to say so I didnt.

Anyway he didnt hide his disapointment with the watch and his mum noticed and asked him what was wrong with it. He replied "well, I'm just thinking, why? why gold when you know I dont wear gold?" he kind of laughed when he said it but he meant every word.

His mum said "i thought you might like it though" so he started going on about how he wanted a tv and now because he'd "only" got £100 from them he was going to have to skint himself to buy one. he then tried to "explain" that if she'd just given him money like he'd asked he wouldve been able to get the TV and not been stuck with 'a load of shit that he didnt want'.

I was so embarassed and angry at him but his mum actually agreed to take it back to the shop and give him the money!

When we got home I told him I thought he was out of order and so ungrateful and he said "yeah I feel depressed about the whole thing as it is without the guilt trip thanks" then he set about explaining to me that if they'd just done what he'd asked originally none of it would have happened.

I finished my argument by saying "I feel so sorry for your mum" so he replied "I know, oh well, can't be helped".

I know we've been together for a year before this but this has completely made me question how I feel about him.

Am I over-reacting considering it was nothing really to do with me?

[LikeAnAnimal]

Sorry, that should say late 20's, not 30s.

[holidaywonk]

He sounds horrible. Bloody hell.

[CharleeSawMummyKissingSanta]

I wouldn't say your over reacting he sound like a spoilt, ungreatful man who needs to grow up and respect his parents.

[Magrat]

grown-ups when faced with their parents have a tendency to turn into the person they were at the worst stage of their teenage years if you ask me

yes he sounds like a nob .. but if he's perfectly decent when not around his parents I wouldn't let it worry me unduly

patently the parental -child relationship is slightly skewed

(I say this as a grown-up emotionally intelligent woman who turns into a 13 year old brat when faced with family)

[lizziemun]

no you're not over reacting.

What a ungratful spoilt brat for want of expression .

I would take it as a sign of how he is when not on his best behaviour.

[holidaywonk]

I think the way a man treats his mother can be a rather useful (if not failsafe) indication of how he will treat a longterm partner or wife.

I wouldn't worry about this so much if he had come away from it saying 'yes, I behaved like a complete brat, she just really winds me up' - but it sounds as though he doesn't even recognise how desperately unpleasant his behaviour was.

[LIZS]

Nasty spoilt brat - sounds 12 not in his 20's . Like he needs a £700 tv . Perhapso theya re used to it rather than hurt , in hwich case he is unlikely to be any better towards you in the long run , sorry .

[Janos]

Hmm yes, spoilt brat. I wouldn't dare speak to my parents like that. Nor would I want to, frankly.

I think you're right to be concerned as this sort of behaviour doesn't bode well.

[wooga]

Sorry, but his behaviour was awful-the lack of respect for his parents would bother me.
He sounds like an over-grown ungrateful brat.
You're not over-reacting - don't ignore alarm bells, if he's like this now he'll probably never change....talking from experience.

[warthog]

shocking. he will eventually treat you the same way.

[catsmother]

I think loud warning bells should be going off in your head over this. As the others have said, if he can show such astonishing lack of respect to his mum, chances are that he'll eventually treat you just as badly (or worse).

Unfortunately, it does sound somewhat as if he has been allowed to get away with being such a spoilt brat. After that appallingly ungrateful speech including references to "a load of shit" (OMG !) if his parents had any gumption they would have told him (the only "shit" in the picture so far as I can see) to get the hell out of their house until he'd grown up and learnt some manners. What's more they should have taken back the money and told him that yes, indeed, all the presents would be going back to the shops .... and all the refunds would be going straight back into their bank account.

[MuthaHubbard]

totally agree with catsmother.

[Lizzylou]

Agree with Catsmother, if my 3.7 yr old acted in this way and was as disrespectful to me, I would be mortified and he isn't even at school yet!

[LoveAngelGabriel]

Woe. What an ungrateful, spoilt, childish man. I would be having serious doubts about him to be perfectly honest.

[LoveAngelGabriel]

Wow not woe :-)