I don't know how to show him my support

[kkgirl]

My DH has recently started a new job. At first he was really enjoying it, his new boss seemed really good and he liked the change.
His boss is a woman, and he has two women working for him, but suddenly it has all gone wrong, they are all including the boss, excluding him from emails, meetings, and yesterday had a meeting about future progress without him.
He is usually so strong and determined, but yesterday and today, I wondered if he was going to go in, suddenly he seems almost broken, and I don't know what to do.
I have listened to him, tried to help him decide why this might be happening, and try to find a way forward.
Now he has gone, I have just been crying, I feel so bad for him, and worried because he is on temporary promotion, so would stand to lose the most, if it all goes really pear-shaped.

I have also got a newish job, which isn't going well either and am dreading going back tomorrow.

What can I do, I am trying to stay positive and be helpful, but I don't really know what I can do or say to help.

[jaynehater]

Is there a whispering campaign on here? It sounds a bit rough. Has he asked his boss tactfully why he was excluded from the meeting, could he say he feels undermined as his staff were there without him?

I saw this happen at work once, it's quite hard to work against. All you can do is what you're doing - give him a sane rational ear and shoulder - only he can gauge the mindset of these women, but if he's honest and straight with them maybe it will work out - it's hard without knowing the personalities.

This must be hard for you if you have your own job worries - is it just settling in problems, or is it an utter nightmare?

You're doing the best thing by staying positive - this is either a misunderstanding, in which case it'll work itself out, or a witchhunt, in which case all he can do is stay strong and efficient at work and adopt a wait and see attitude.

Sending you good vibes and happy thoughts for tomorrow, hope it goes better for you.

[LoveMyGirls]

Life is too short to be unhappy if you are both stuck where you are for now (you could be looking for other jobs? accept these new changes havent worked out and move on?) then in the meantime can you plan exciting things for the weekends so you both have things to look forward to? Plan a holiday? (don't have to go away you could visit family or a couple of days out to a farm, theme park etc?)

[kkgirl]

Thanks for your kind messages.
Jaynehater, strange you should say about whispering, this is happening to both of us.
I have worked for the same company for over 30 years now, and it has never been so bad. All the staff in my office whisper and I think it is rude and unproffessional - if they can't say it out loud then they should go to a room to have a proper meeting.
We have just had a major re-org and it seems to have upset all the teams. I was asked to move from a job I didn't really like, but my boss was good, he just let me get on with it and was very supportive when I was off for two months with trapped nerve in neck. I was asked to do Business Support, and work for two girls, who are both younger than me and are not very experienced. My boss is ok, but the other girl acts very superior, and although I have tactfully told her I've been around the block a few times, treats me like a toddler basically, and has an attitude that the work is beneath her.

We have a holiday coming up in two weeks, and I am really desperate for it. DH doesn't really like going on holiday anyway, so I feel I am dragging him along. My DH is a workaholic, he puts in huge effort, works very long hours, and puts work before home, I have told him he needs to consider a work life balance, but I guess he won't change now, he has always been like it.

[Baffy]

Has he asked for a one-to-one meeting with his boss?

If I were him I would say I want to meet with her to discuss my own progress. I would use it as an opportunity to gauge exactly what my boss was expecting from me, to find out exactly how she sees my role fitting into the rest of the team, and would then tactfully ask why I was excluded from the meeting.

Sounds like a horrible situation

[kkgirl]

Thanks Baffy

I did suggest a low key approach in the way you have suggested, rather than an all out battle.

Its just he looks so dejected its really upsetting me, I am such a softy anyway.