Need some legal advice for my Mum.

[bunny2]

My Dad is a pain in the $rse and has yet again ruined another special occasion - my brothers 40th birthday. For years we have all been advising my Mum to leave him, their relationship is terrible, he is a controlling bully with a violent temper and has been verbally abusing her for years. Unfortunately my father has always controlled all the household finances so despite them being married for 45 years and despite mym Mum having worked througout the marriage till several years ago, eveything is in his name, the house, savings, investments, everything. He has told my mum that if she leaves him, she will get absolutely nothing and this is her reason / excuse to stay in such a nightmarish relationship. Does anyone know, even though she has been bullied into signing everything over to him, will a Court of LAw allow her to force him to sell the house and award her some of the proceeds? Or, will she be penniless if she leaves?

[Gingerbear]

Absolutely not. She will get at least half, especially after 45 years!!

[MummyToSteven]

Agree with Gingerbear. The Court won't leave her high and dry, and at her age would not expect her to start going out to work to support herself if she is not already doing so. Your mum should be able to get legal aid - and many law firms offer a free first interview in any case. That or the CAB should be her starting point to get an idea of what she would be entitled to. She may find it useful to attend Relate - I think it is useful even if you just attend as you are contemplating splitting up, or other counselling to help her prepare for leaving.

[Freckle]

The courts are wise to the tactics of some husbands and consider the matrimonial assets (i.e. assets which have been built up/acquired over the duration of the marriage) to belong equally to both parties. If your mum should pluck up enough courage to make a break, the courts will look at needs and resources - what are the needs of each party and what resources are there to meet them - and divvy up accordingly. So your dad is talking out of his .....

[Twiglett]

message withdrawn

[bunny2]

Thanks ladies, and thank goodness for that. I shall try and talk to my Mum this week and offer to go to a solicitor with her. Relate wont work, my dad would never go for any sort of counselling as it is never his fault! the relationship has been dead for years and isnt worth saving anyway - they have slept in separate rooms for 20 years, I think my mum is viewed as un unpaid cook, cleaner and driver . I hope she gets more than half!

[MummyToSteven]

bunny2 - I meant for your mum to go on her own, not try and get your dad along!

[bunny2]

do they see you on your own?

[LIZS]

She would be entitled to a portion of the assets, possibly but not necessarily, 50% regardless of whose name it is in. However the greater difficulty comes regarding future income to sustain her. She may need to get a court order against his pension for example, especially in the event of a divorce, or she could lose out in the event of him predeceasing her.

Good luck to you and your and your mum. If my parents' experience is anything to go by it could get really messy and drag on unless she gets solid legal advice and sticks to her guns.

[tammybear]

i went to see relate on my own, and they help you with all kinds of issues. not just helping your relationship, but helping you dealing with break ups, and issues with family.

[bunny2]

Thanks LIZS, now I have to hope she has the guts to go through with it. She is frightened of him.

[bunny2]

I didnt know that tb, I'll find the number for my MUm and see if she wants to call. She has been sticking her head in the sand over this for decades, maybe Relate will help her find the courage to go.

[Twinkie]

Bunny - not only will she get half the house but half of any savings, pensions, everything after 45 years - make her go on ondivorce.co.uk - can post on there and lots of people who have been through the same will be able to advise her.

Good Luck Bunny2s mum.
XXX

[aloha]

Can she come and stay with you if she is afraid of him? She will certainly not be left penniless. That's just his empty threat.