Feeling broody but don't want another baby.

[StripeyBroomstickSpottyWand]

OK, this is probably going to sound weird and I can't get it straight in my own head even.

I have a 6yo dd. Love her to bits especilly now she's at an age where she's reasonable. I loved spending time with her when she was a baby. But I have to admit that between the ages of 18months and 5 I maybe was not that happiest mummy in the world and didn't really enjoy spending time with her. Though I really hope and pray I never showed that, I did all the mum and toddler things with a smile on my face. But I found her very hard work, she had awful tantrums and I was at the end of my tether.

Me and DH get on well and he is a good dad, but he tends to do his own things at weekends. Leaves me and dd to do stuff and if we go out for the day he rarely comes with us saying he has work to do instead. So I do feel that I don't get a lot of adult company apart from at work. We decided that we did not want more kids.

But I'm 31 now and suddenly begging to feel broody. Am worrying about what I will do with myself when dd is 12 and off with her mates at weekends and not with me. But thats a stupid reason to want another child isn't it.

I love been able to sleep all night now and would hate sleepless nights again. But a cute, giggly baby would be nice. But what when they grow up to be a monster toddler?

I'm looking forward to having more time to read books, have time for me. But I'm panicing about been lonely as well.

I would be mad to have kids with such a big age gap and go back and start all over again. Going back to work would be difficult as I work shifts and childcare would be a nightmare. Have just started a new career which I'm excited about. We would need an extension and money would be tight if we had another.

Haven't even mentioned this to hubby. Oh and I've been sterilised. Am I bonkers? Should I just forget this. What if I get to 40 and its too late and I'm full of regret. But what if I have a baby and hate being a mum again.

[Maursie]

I can sympathise with you here - I've got two kids and I occasionally get really broody and think that another baby would be quite nice but thankfully reality hits in pretty quickly! the thought of another set of nursery fees and where we would actually put the baby is enough to get me back on the straigt and narrow.

I wouldn't worry too much about being lonely as you dd grows up - this is a gradual process remember and you will both adjust as you go along.

Perhaps you need to see if your DH will take more of an active role with you on days off - my DH is the same, he needs a good kick up the backside every so often to come out with me and the kids..

hope this helps

[thomcat]

Have you considered fostering or helping out doing some respite care for children with special needs, something along those lines?

[StripeyBroomstickSpottyWand]

Maursie, I think you're right about it been a gradual process and we'll both adjust. Thanks, I feel better now.

DD has been a pita tonight as well, so feeling rather less broody than this morning

I couldn't foster or do respite care. Would not have the patience for it. Think I'm a crap mum to my own kid never mind one who isn't even mine!

[Maursie]

I know what you mean about the fostering aspect - I always fancied fostering kids when mine would be a bit older but that was when my kids were babies! - they are now 7 and 3 and I am already looking forward to when they can fend for themselves - would not fancy taking on more young kids then...
as for thinking you are a crap mum - I am sure you are not - you are just honest and able to admit that bringing up kids can be pretty rubbish at times,i adore my kids but I hear myself sometimes when I am screaming at them and would be mortified I am sure if it was ever played back at me - but they can drive you bonkers at times...still I am holiday from work in a half hour's time for a week and cannot wait to spend some nice time off with them, so they can't be that bad can they? (note to self - read this message next week and so how i feel lol!)