Have your childrens birthdays ever been forgotten by their father?

[Hi]

This has just happened to someone I know and I really feel for them - how could a father claim to be devoted and then forget something so crucial? Am I just being too sensitive? The children in question didn't make an issue of it but can't help wondering how they feel (they are twins).

[Philippat]

Well, I agree, it's a bit of an odd thing for a devoted father to forget (having said that I put the wrong dob on my dd's passport form!), but some people are very date-blind. Don't they discuss things in your friend's house - 'what are we going to do for the kids' birthday' 'what are we getting the kids for their birthday'? I recommend a large calendar and a red marker pen. (poor kids - I make an issue of it if they forget my birthday at work!)

[jasper]

I'm one of four.I don't think my dad knows any of our birthdays but he is still a great Dad.

[SimonHoward]

The first time I forget my DD's birthday my DW will kill me, so no chance of me doing that.

It helps that it is 2 days after my mothers and 2 days befor DW's though.

[Bozza]

Can't imagine Dh being able to forget DS's birthday. I go on (well I did the one time so far that he has had a birthday) for weeks about what to buy him, what sort of a cake, who to invite etc etc. How old were the children who's birthday was forgotten?

[SofiaAmes]

I think it really depends on the dad. I have the most wonderful father, but dates are not his thing. I'm not sure he remembers when my birthday is, but he certainly adores me and shows me in many other ways which are far more important to me. My mother's solution to my dad's mental date blocks is that every year for her birthday/xmas/anniversary she buys herself a present a few months in advance, wraps it up and puts it in a closet. On the day she gives it to my father to give to her. Half the time she's forgotten what she got herself, so it's a surprise anyway. And my dad feels great because he gets to give her something on her birthday etc. One year my father did "remember" my mother's birthday and even got her some flowers....unfortunately he got it wrong and was a week early!

[SofiaAmes]

sobernow, it may be laziness in some cases, but I think it can also be a matter of priorities and culture. Sending/giving cards is something that is far more popular in britain than in the usa. Also, different people consider different things important. When my husband was in hospital for a major operation, I was surprised that afterwards not a single member of his family called or sent a card (they never forget to send bday/xmas cards to all of us every year). However, my entire extended family called from all over the world to check up on him and wish him well (none of them ever send us bday/xmas cards).