This morning I made a statement to the police

[TheGoodOnesWereTaken]

My 'D'P lost it at me this morning in front of my children . I took them to school , went to my mums and phoned the police. I'm all at sea now I don't know what to do next.

[SharkSkinThing]

Hand holding if you need it. Are you OK? Do you want to talk about what happened, if that might help? 💐

[TheGoodOnesWereTaken]

It's not the first time he's lost it like that but he threw something at me today he's never been violent as such before. I need to get my shit together but I don't know where to start. How do I minimise the chaos for my boys, can I keep the house. I feel like I've woken up in an episode of eastenders

[Costacoffeeplease]

Well done for being brave and going through with it. Do you own, rent, in whose name? How old are the children?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Well done for phoning the Police; let them deal with this man. Throwing things at you is domestic violence.

If you have not already done so talk to Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247, they can and will also help you.

[SharkSkinThing]

Firstly, well done for taking this step. Is the house yours or his or both? Are you able to stay there safely?

The general advice from others in this situation is to get all your practical paperwork together - passports, bank stuff, legal docs.

Are you at your mum's now?

[SharkSkinThing]

And yes, phone Woman's Aid right now.

[SharkSkinThing]

Women, even. 💛

[TheGoodOnesWereTaken]

The house has a mortgage in both our names. The police have taken him in as far as I know and he will not be allowed home tonight. I've locked myself in the house so he can't get in just in case. I will not let him teach my boys thats ok. I have my own bank account and there's no money in the other one cos we've just paid the bills. We've been together 10 years and he's just grown further and further from us until he turned into whoever that was this morning. My poor boys.

[littlesallyracket]

Oh god, you poor thing.

You've done exactly the right thing - for you and for your children. My ex had a foul temper and threw things at me a number of times before he started hitting me.

Definitely call Refuge or Women's Aid for advice. They will know the right things to do on a practical level and it will help to talk to someone who understands exactly what you're going through. Is your mum being supportive? Could you stay there if you needed to?

I feel like I want to sit you down and make you a cuppa (or possibly pour you a large brandy).

[SharkSkinThing]

You poor thing, but you are doing the best thing for your boys in the long term. Is there someone with you in RL now?

Call Womens Aid and seek legal advice.

You can do this.

[YeOldMa]

This happened to a friend of mine except somebody else called the police. At the time it was pandemonium but Victim Support were extraordinarily supportive. Unfortunately her husband managed to persuade her to drop the charges and so when she was saying to the courts she was worried about his behaviour around the kids, there was no actual conviction. However, it was a catalyst for her sorting out her life, not being cowed by a bully and finally realising she could go it alone. Stand your ground, see a solicitor for advice and take one step at a time.

[shovetheholly]

No, not "your poor boys". Your lucky boys for having a Mum who was strong enough to say 'Enough is ENOUGH' and take the steps that were needed to ensure that the future can be better than this.

You've taken SUCH a brave step here. Of course it's terrifying. But you've done the right thing for everyone. I hope the agencies involved will be as supportive as possible. [flower]

[GreenAndWinter]

Well done! You have acted completely appropriately, and sent your children the strong message that this kind of behaviour is not okay.

Today you will no doubt feel very wobbly and conflicted. You've started a process now, and there is no going back. Did you speak to Women's Aid? They have lots of practical advice.

The fact that you've locked the doors suggests to me that you think things might escalate, and that he might get more abusive now that you have take actions.

You could look into getting a non-molestation order so that he can't harass you with texts, phone calls and coming to the house etc. Women's Aid can help with this. The situation with the house will be complicated, but you will be able to stay in the short term at least if you are able to pay the mortgage.

There is a website called "entitled to" which calculates how much you will be able to claim in tax credits, benefits etc. Well worth a look.

You've done the right thing and been amazingly strong this morning. I know it is hard, I've been there myself. Today is the start of a new life of freedom for you and your children, so this is really positive. No more treading on eggshells for any of you any more!

[goddessofsmallthings]

Scroll down to find your nearest WA service and, others have said, make contact with them asap:www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

It's probable that youwill need to apply for a non-molestation order and an occupation order which will prohibit hm from coming within proscribed distance from you and from living in the house that he jointly owns with you.

Have the police told you whether they have, or intend to, charge him?

[goddessofsmallthings]

Link here: //www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

[BlackeyedSusan]

well; done. do not go back to him. you have done so well getting out. I wish I had done so earlier.

[TheGoodOnesWereTaken]

My poor mum has gone for a sleep after having all this drama land on her doorstep straight after a night shift .I've had food and coffee. No answer at womens aid, they must be really busy Now I'm doing laundry it's surreal. I've got birth certificates etc

[Stennercrossing]

What happened? Glad you are safe.

[passmethewineplease]

Well done OP! It can be hard to do the things you're doing right now.

Sorry to hear how he's behaved, nobody deserves that.

[SharkSkinThing]

We're all here for you OP. Keep talking if it helps.

[skyyequake]

Hi TheGoodOnes sometimes the national number for Women's Aid can be very busy... Can you google a local number for them? Or it's possible that there's a local organisation for domestic abuse that you can call?

[goddessofsmallthings]

Is it your nearest WA service that isn't answering or are you trying to get through on the national freephone number?

[TheGoodOnesWereTaken]

Thank you for the link goddessofsmallthings, the lady at womans aid was fantastic, she gave me numbers for solicitors and housing and local council domestic violence team. I'm off to my wee ones nativity this afternoon because that's all that's holding me together right now. The police have told me that they've charged him with domestic assault and will request that he be given an injunction thing to stop him coming here. all you fabulous people.

[skyyequake]

I'm so glad you got it all sorted and have found support it's much easier when you tap into that network of help that's out there! Well done on being so strong through all this and enjoy your DCs nativity