Why do I equate jealousy/possessiveness to love?

[CantHelpDancingWithTheDevil]

Seems I am only attracted to emotionally abusive men. I equate jealousy and possessiveness to love. Nice men do not interest me. You know; the ones who actually respect women and are kind and polite

I've had a normal childhood. Dad was a bit difficult at times with his temper but I was shown love in the normal way

I have a good job, plenty of friends..life is okay. Aside from my attraction to absolute lunatics. I actually get a kick out of men asking where I've been, who I'm with, telling me who I can/can't speak to, what I can/can't wear..the last one controlled me to the point where even I eventually saw the red flags and had to leave. I love arguing. If I'm bored I argue. I like the passion that comes with it. As in..if a man didn't care about me, he wouldn't even waste his energy arguing

I don't even know why I'm posting. Guess a good therapist is the way forward here. Just needed to write it down/type it out

And I want to be content - control is a turn on for me; but I know it doesn't go hand in hand with a good, free, happy life