Hi,
I've name changed to ask this question. But I need help and can't get it straight in my head and I've limited time. I've changed names for everyone...
Paul and Tara are engaged. They are also due to move to a different city to where they live shortly after which I won't be able to contact her without him intercepting any messages which is why I need to decide whether to tell her and give her a chance to call it all over before it is too late.
Paul and I were friends, have been a long time. We suffered a bereavement and I was very, very vulnerable. He picked up on this and bombarded me with messages and calls.... to begin with they were mildly suggestive but as you can imagine they became overtly so.
He sent me many, many dick pics... with no encouragement. I asked him to stop but it continued. He turned up where I live and tried to kiss me. He kept telling me how he couldn't live without me.
I didn't encourage this. But I didn't block and delete as I thought that the situation would go away.
He would tell me he was outside my house, or watching me. It made me quite frightened in the end and so I finally told him to stay away from me.
I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking that he is making Tara move away from everything she knows (& uprooting her child).. to give him a fresh start but that she doesn't know what he is capable of.
I'm toying with sending an anonymous note to her (I am too afraid of his unpredictability to tell her in person). But, should I just leave it alone and presume that the grief just made him go slightly weird for a while?
for what it is worth. he has respected my wish to stop contact for the past week...prior to that I would receive 50-100 messages a day.
What should I do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Would you tell her?
makingtherightcall · 20/11/2016 20:36
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