I have posted before about getting out of a 12 year marriage to an emotionally and physically abusive man. We have three DCs.
I decided in August that enough was enough. He left the house and went to live in the flat above the coffee shop we ran. I have been adamant from the start that it's over, but until this past week he has tried anything and everything to get me to forgive me. For me, it's too little too late. I cannot continue in an unhappy marriage with a man I don't love.
I called the police out two weeks ago because he was being verbally abusive and threatening towards me. It has torn the kids apart but I had to do it to protect us because I couldn't put up with his bullying ways anymore. I told the police he had hit me in the past and they wanted me to press charges against him for an incident in June where he pinned me on the bed and hit me. At the time, I told them I couldn't because I felt it was my word against his and I didn't want to cause more hurt to the children
It has been constant games with him- telling me that he will do this and that (threats basically), then the next day turning into Mr.Nice Guy, saying that all he said was in anger.
He thought I had been cheating on him because I saved some random quotes to my phone (his Mac Book also has an account for me and of course my photo stream automatically updated). Said quotes were about wanting true love, jokes about the opposite sex etc which he took as me flirting with someone
Friends had been telling him to leave me alone and give me headspace, but last night when I collected the kids clothes from his house, it turned into a huge row, where he swore at the kids because they were crying. It's not the first time he's done it. He has raised his hands to them in the past and because I was a shit mum I didn't walk out on him there and then when I should have
I headed out today with the children and he had a parcel delivered here yesterday which I gave to the children to give him whilst I waited in the car. The next thing I know, he's in the car sitting next to me, telling me that he phoned 101 last night and he told them that I keep threatening to report him to the police for harassment. They've told him that they won't get involved unless I have an order against him. He is now refusing point blank to admit he has hit me in the past despite me needing a MRI scan two years ago. He told me I fell down the stairs
It erupted in a slanging match where I told him that not only has he finished me financially and emotionally, now he has finished me mentally. I turned and asked the kids if daddy had ever hit me. They know he has but won't admit it because they're scared of him. I asked DS if Daddy had ever hit him and he looked at his Dad, who then winked and DS replied 'no'. I asked DD the same and she said 'I don't know'. She later admitted it was because she was scared of him that she said that.
I have since had to block his number because I have him telling me 'I need treatment'. I asked him three times which days he wanted to see the children this week, but rather than answer I got a barrage of abuse calling me a crazy woman, again denying he ever hit me, and telling me to go to my fancy man.
I have no surviving family. I am raising these children with no other help. His family are in Turkey. Me and him are all the kids have. My head is up in my arse. I need a solicitor but don't have a penny to my name. He is a vile excuse for a human being. I do not want to mentally scar my children anymore, but he is letting me believe I don't have a leg to stand on. What the hell do I do? I need to be strong. My children need me, but he is already turning DS against me by bad mouthing me to him. DS blames me for all that has happened, yet when we're alone, cries because he remembers how bad his dad hit him
I have come this far in leaving the marriage but I don't know if I have the strength or courage to fight anymore
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I need a hand hold- this will go one way or another
12 replies
fivetosix · 19/11/2016 18:05
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