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Expecting contact during a business trip?

(14 Posts)
tooyoungtobeamrs Mon 14-Nov-16 23:07:44

Hi all, I am writing here to get a bit of perspective.

After breaking up with a long-term boyfriend a while ago, I have been chatting with a coworker on fb and it was clear there was mutual interest. He was always the one initiating contact (literally, I never ever messaged him first).

Last week we went out for drinks (he asked me out) and we talked and kissed. It was all quite lovely and he did not make any sexual attempts. We said we'll go out again.

After a couple of days he left for a long business trip and he will be out of the office for 3 weeks. He told me about the trip beforehand. Before leaving, he messaged me often. But since he left (5 days ago) he stopped getting in touch with me, besides liking and commenting some stuff I posted on social media.

Am I totally overthinking this or is this a red flag? I do not plan on contacting him anyway.

Please mumsnetters help me with your wisdom!!

TheNaze73 Mon 14-Nov-16 23:13:54

You're way over thinking it OP.

Don't sweat the small stuff smile

When I'm away with work, we often work lunch & late until the evening.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 14-Nov-16 23:20:30

Over thinking, if he is still in touch via social media it's ok. Maybe text him see how he is?

HeddaGarbled Mon 14-Nov-16 23:27:08

You are way overthinking this and this definitely isn't a red flag. He is liking and commenting on your social media posts. That is definitely enough for this early in the tentative stages of maybe a future relationship. He will be feeling his way with you right now and not wanting to scare you off by being over stalky. 3 weeks is nothing. Chill for now and see how things go when he gets back. Good luck - hope this works out for you both.

LesisMiserable Mon 14-Nov-16 23:53:46

Do you think he would consider it a red flag that youve never initiated contact or contacted him whilst he's away?

Myusernameismyusername Mon 14-Nov-16 23:55:59

Yeah I think you run the risk of him thinking you are not interested

tooyoungtobeamrs Mon 14-Nov-16 23:59:19

lessismiserable I don't think so, I never initiated contact with him but I gave plenty of clues that I am interested. I don't think he thinks I am not keen.

It is possible though that he got tired of always being the first to initiate contact and he is now waiting to see if I message him first myself..

joellevandyne Tue 15-Nov-16 00:01:40

My OH and I have been together for seven years and we have two kids. He has also been on a business trip for the last five days, and I've heard from him exactly twice, once very briefly!

It's no big deal. He's busy. He's distracted. He's getting every minute's worth out of his trip, working hard on a project, networking with clients and getting to know new contacts, getting to grips with (and enjoying) his new location. There's a time difference.

There are a million reasons why someone's mind is completely elsewhere on a big trip. Don't worry about it - just do the same as him, comment and like posts - or even (intake of breath) send him a friendly message. Honestly, if he's the sort of guy who would be scared off by receiving a message while he's away, I can't see there would be much hope for the relationship anyway.

LesisMiserable Tue 15-Nov-16 00:03:06

He may have got tired and he may not, its absolutely fine for you to contact him you know, if he likes you he'll be delighted.

Jinglebellsandv0dka Tue 15-Nov-16 00:08:05

Go with your gut feeling on this.

People are never too busy to send a quick text at the end of the night. He may pick up where he left off when he comes back or throw you the odd text to keep you hooked.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 15-Nov-16 00:11:41

It is possible though that he got tired of always being the first to initiate contact and he is now waiting to see if I message him first myself

I wouldn't run with this thought and suggest you wait until he's at least mid-trip before sending a message to say you hope he's having a productive time.

tooyoungtobeamrs Tue 15-Nov-16 08:34:39

Jingle so do you reckon this is a red flag?

tooyoungtobeamrs Tue 15-Nov-16 08:36:38

goddess yes I think your comment makes a lot of sense.

He never said or did anything that could suggest he was annoyed to always be the one initiating contact, so I may be overthinking this too.

The dating world is so stressful confused

LesisMiserable Tue 15-Nov-16 09:24:35

I met my DP online (tinder) 2 years ago. We are getting married next year. All I can say is we none of us become a different species just because we are online dating. If you appreciate hearing from him first, so might he, men like to be 'chased' thought of and complimented just as much as we do. If he's into you he'll appreciate the check in. Stop overthinking, if you're at all worried 'how it looks' then he's not the one for you. Whats wrong with a quick "hows it going?" Honestly don't stress. Say hello if you want.to. if he's bothered he'll enjoy that you did.

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