I'm debating asking my ex to help out more with the children, who are now young teens. He has them one night on a weekend per week and has done so for 8 years now.
But I worry that a. I've left it too late and b. It is for my own selfish reasons.
Happy to be flamed over it, go ahead, but I would love opinions before I dive in and ask or just bury it again.
I left him and he did not like this. He complained about living apart from the kids but instantly loved his freedom. He's had 2 long term relationships and been on lots of child free holidays and now has a new child. I like the partner and since baby has arrived he's suddenly become more easy going actually. He does take them away sometimes for a holiday but I have not been away at the same time as I haven't had anyone to Go with. I have never been on a child free holiday. He has never taken them to school and they have never stayed at his house on a school night. He doesn't do any of their laundry. I do get minimal maintence and he is reliable with contact and shares drop offs. He goes halves on things like trips and uniforms. He's moved 3 times, even when he lived very very close the weekly contact did not increase.
The DC aren't that fussed about visiting as they don't have their own rooms (all 3 inc baby in one room) but they do have nice stuff and he does feed them/go out etc.
I have met someone and I also work full time now. I dont want to introduce man to DC it's too soon. I realise increasingly (and feel resentful) how little free time I get. I'm now having to choose on my one free night a week do I choose to see friends? Time to Myself? BF? Shopping? Housework? It's all rushed and I just feel like I have no time to be me.
But I am lucky as some single parents never get one night a week so I can't really complain.
I also do really like spending time with my DC in the evenings but mostly it's homework/cooking/housework and I don't know why he can't pick up the slack - but is this selfish of me to ask? One evening a week not even overnight. I also do not really know how to ask. He can be unreasonable irrationally. I've given him a really easy ride and frankly he could do more for his own kids, not just me. They get stressed mum because I'm tired and get little space. He gets weekend night when no one has to rush around.
Opinions wise ones!
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Relationships
Asking ex to have the children more
11 replies
Myusernameismyusername · 14/11/2016 19:22
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