Is it time to go NC?

[Alabastard]

My DM and her husband have never had a good relationship. Over the years there have been rows, threats and a lot of emotional abuse from both sides. Before they met my mother was quite emotionally abusive throughout my childhood.

I see her twice a week at the moment as I have DD who she loves. Yesterday she told me she'd just found evidence of her husband's ongoing affair. She told me I wasn't to tell my siblings or she'd never forgive me. Then she stopped answering her phone.

I've come round today and I'm met with the usual awkward wall of denial. She's no eating. He's pretending everything is fine. Nobody talks about anything. I'm still forbidden from speaking to my siblings so I'm just supposed to somehow deal with this.

I think emotionally I'd be better off being NC with her. But I don't think I could take her DGD away.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

She was not a good parent to you, what makes you think she is actually a decent sort of grandmother to your child?. Your DD will and is seeing you as her mum being treated badly. At the very least I would start going there less frequently and gradually not visit with DD altogether.

How do your siblings get along with their parents, have they generally been more favoured than you?. How do you yourself get along with them? Presumably they know anyway that things at home have not been all that great for many years now, they grew up seeing all this dysfunctional behaviour from mum and dad as well.

Your parents won't likely separate because they get what they want out of this relationship. Did your mother tell you that she was not eating?. Your mother seems to thrive on being miserable and taking it out on you.