I need advice, please help.

[BitterAndTwistedQuestion]

Hello ladies

I am really sorry to bother everyone but I found myself completely alone and no one to turn to.

My abusive husband had threw me and my children out of our house 18 months ago. We have spent few months in a temporary accommodation and now have been rehoused in a council house.

During these 18 months me and my sons received counselling and naively I thought I could work things out with my husband. Of course it didn't.

My husband still lives in our marital home, refusing cooperate with divorce, which costs me more and more with each letter sent to him by solicitor.

I work part time, school hours, my youngest son is 10, and you can imagine I am on a low income. Largely down to my controlling husband I could never pursue education or career.

Now he had stopped paying maintenance for the children. Having earnings of £1500 a week for the past 3 years he hadn't declared any of his income, for that reason child maintenance agency can't help me to get money out of him.

What can I do?

[DreamingofItaly]

This sounds terrible for you. What a horrid situation.

It sounds like you're past the point of talking so you could report him to HMRC for the undeclared income. I'm not sure what happens but that's a lot of money to not pay tax on so I imagine they'll investigate. It will take time but could mean you get your money. You could also threaten him with this action to see if it makes him pay again.

Do you own the house he's still in? Is there a way you can try to sell it from under him to get what you're owed?

Sorry I can't be much help

[BitterAndTwistedQuestionMark]

Thank you, DreamingofItaly :)

I just wanted to share the load of my chest. I do have counselling but it doesn't seem to be helping. If anything it makes me feel worse realising how stupid I was to put up with abuse for years!

I can't do anything! Can't sell the house, I couldn't even stay there as I couldn't pay the mortgage and he just wouldn't move out.
Reporting him to HMRC could mean he will drop everything and walk away.
He is an abusive, nasty man, threatening him would make me just like him!

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

There is a charity called Rights of Women which offers free legal advice. They can advise you on:

domestic violence and abuse
divorce/cohabitation, finances and property on relationship breakdown
parental responsibility and arrangements for children
and (though not in your case), lesbian parenting.

For women in England and Wales
Call 020 7251 6577
Tuesday 7pm – 9pm, Wednesday 7pm – 9pm, Thursday 7pm – 9pm, Friday 12pm – 2pm
The line is closed on bank holidays

For women in London
Call 020 7608 1137
Monday 11am-1pm, Tuesday 2pm – 4pm, Wednesday 2pm – 4pm, Thursday 2pm – 4pm
The line is closed on bank holidays.

You can contact them for initial advice or at various stages of your legal case. You can call whether you have a solicitor or not. They can signpost you to solicitors and other organisations who might also be able to help you.


NB They can only advise in English on the law as it applies in England and Wales.

The advice line can be extremely busy, as you can imagine demand for advice is high, so they suggest keep trying to get through. The women solicitors and barristers who advise on evening sessions are all volunteers so occasionally they do have to close the line, sometimes at short notice.

[BitterAndTwistedQuestionMark]

Thank you for that information. I will can them tomorrow.
Tonight I am at college doing maths GCSE, don't know if it's going to be useful but it certainly keeps my mind busy and dark thoughts away