So
Not been with crazy ex for 8 years due to how volatile/abusive he was. But I loved him with ALL my heart he was my best friend, Best lover, shared some very special times together as a family but he's a v damaged person.
We had to break up because I couldn't cope with him and didn't want the drama around our son.
For the 1st time he appears to be off the drugs, drink and got a pregnant gf. He has committed a few drunken crimes (1 v bad) in the past year including damaging some of my property but my mind has decided to convince me he's finally become all the things I so desperately wanted him to be and it's killing me because that's the only reason we've not been able to be a family :(
And now I'm on my own and I feel they're skipping off into the sunset (up the road from me where they've just moved to🙄)
I weirdly feel slightly bitter, jealous and upset which has knocked me as I never thought I'd feel these things ever again about him as I thought he'd never change.
He's been in and out of prison, a heroin addict and alcoholic for most of our sons life (not paid 1 penny on bdays etc) and now they're both loving life with a fresh start/new life as she's loaded and I'm still plodding along trying to make ends meet.
Just feels so unfair.
I know it sounds like I need to get over it after so long but I was.
Time has kinda stood still as he's pretty much been in prison the whole time.
Now I feel like he's the one having the last laugh when I'm the one who's tried so hard to put right all the wrongs he did :(
He wants to see our son but he's not interested.
He bad mouths me for not wanting contact and apparently stopping our son seeing him but it's just not true. I don't know why he dislikes me so much when all I've done wrong is refuse to have contact. It's just too painful and dangerous because he was like a drug and it scares me that I could get hooked again. Even after all these years! Also if I'm honest it hurts to think he loves the new girl more than me. He told my best friend he never thought it would be possible to love someone how he loved me but he does which broke my heart to hear.
Living on your own with an overactive imagination is soooo annoying
🙄🔫
Please someone tell me to get a grip!
Also can psychos change? Why does he want to get to me/hate me so much? 🤔
I wish they didn't move so near me 😩
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Relationships
Feeling very hard done by, don't want to become bitter!
Jules8432 · 13/10/2016 21:28
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