Be truthful am I a bad person. I was with my ex for over 15 years have 3 boys ages 4 and twins 2. When I was pregnant with my 1st DC he cheated on me with his so called best friend, I always got a feeling but I just never could confirm, I confronted them numerous times and they lied to me. He even rented out our annexe to her without asking me beforehand. Separate entrance from us. I've since found out he would take every opportunity to go bang her, say he was taking out the rubbish, having a cigarette, going for a walk etc. Anyways I just had my doubts so I kicked him out after 1st DC he begged to come back and I eventually accepted, I got pregnant with twins found out they were still in contact such as texts and phone calls, still saying they were just friends, I started to think I was losing the plot, maybe they were only friends. I left house, she moved out and got a new place. He stayed but we still did everything as a family and I thought maybe I had been a mug. So all kids are born in June so after party I searched his phone when everyone had left and he was tidying up, it confirmed everything that they'd been sleeping together from I was pregnant with 1st DC. Massive row I cursed them both out, she told me she was going to come and beat me up, teased me about my post natal depression. Called me all sorts of names, it was awful. Me being a mug started back sleeping with him after a while, I felt low and I was disgusted with myself. He then dropped the cherry on the cake that if this girl wanted a serious relationship he'd drop me, so I got so pissed of. Then I found out he was wooing her, he was going to take her to Spain end of month to get serious but viewed me as some fun so I thought I'll get even with you both, her for taunting me about my depression and looks and him for cheating. I contacted her, made up some lie, which she's bought. When she confronts him he'll probably say he's going to top himself, he says that after every row, so I don't take it serious anymore, years of hearing it has made it not have any impact for me, but why do I feel so bad? Why do I feel like a bad person, when for over 3 years they had an affair. And this is only the first time I got even? She's mad at him for being unfaithful, I don't get it. I hope I don't get like 50 texts saying he's going to kill himself but when he's put in a situation that's usually his response. I don't like feeling like this. I'm moving on from him I know I deserve better, but I can't stop crying I feel like the worst person in the world.
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The PP is right, you have been treated terribly, it's no wonder you feel as you do and wanted to get back at them. But look how you feel now? It's not worth it, for your sake, not theirs.
They aren't nice people, leave them to it.
The best revenge is a life well lived anyway.
No you're not bad, just hurt and lashing out which is understandable after all they've put you through. It really is time to put them firmly in your past though, you deserve better than he can ever offer you. In my eyes the best revenge you can ever take is to move on and build a new life for yourself where you can be happy. It's time to close the chapter, personally I don't think it matters whether you retract the lie you told or not, that's up to you but all your energy now needs to go into completely detaching yourself from him (other than contact with DC) and building a shiny new life for yourself
Good plan! 
Please start by changing your user name, you're far from pathetic - you're young, with a full life to come with love and laughter with your children and much better people than these twats in the future!
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