Im lost, is it me or is this abuse?

deepwater71 · 2016-09-30 22:14:24

This is my first time posting and it's really hard. I've been married for a couple of years and straightaway my husband changed, out all the time, paying attention to other women but just friendly apparently now he's off work on sick for genuine reasons. I'm working 45hours a week and totally exhausted but he's out all day till midnight, watches porn rather than be with me, is horrible when he's drunk but seems to have convinced me I can't be without him. I'm suffering from depression I know, bulimia and self harming because he makes me feel so rubbish, I'm angry all the time and just want to sleep, he's made me feel suicidal sometimes but when he thought I had taken pills he just went sleep leaving me crying which I do all the time, but he says it's me that is mental. I don't know what to do, I feel like I can't be without him but I want to get away a lot. He says I'm worse than all his mad exes, I don't think I am, I'm getting to the stage where I literally can't function, he's just gone out again because I wasn't ready quick enough even though he's been out all day already, I don't know how to sort this mess out, everyone thinks he's wonderful, he can be nice but to everyone else, I just want to it be like it was before, I'm so down it's unreal.

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