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15 year marriage feels like it's going to shit

(6 Posts)
DooWhop Mon 19-Sep-16 04:43:56

Not even sure what background to give or examples of how our relationship is.
It's been a tough few years of caring for parent, loss of parent, house move, redundancies, teenagers, financial pressures.
Ultimately though we have jobs, a nice home, health.
2 teen DC at home who can be challenging. Permatiredness due to work life balance being out of kilter but not entirely sure how to address that when we both work ft and need to.
Looking for small ways to reignite things. We used to be so affectionate and laugh every day. I can't recall the last time there was laughter and as for sex, not happening.
I just don't know what to do.

Humblebee1 Mon 19-Sep-16 07:28:46

Do you think your DH is feeling the same, and doesn't know what to do. I would try chatting to him but not accusingly, in a caring wayvand see what response you get. Life is so hard on families. Good luck.

HerOtherHalf Mon 19-Sep-16 08:02:55

Seems to me you know what the root cause likely is - work life balance. It may be hard and you may need to make material compromises but there must be ways to address that. Work to live, don't live to work. I'll bet you, like many, spend loads of money on things you don't really need and that don't give you happiness commensurate with their cost.

DooWhop Mon 19-Sep-16 23:33:16

Thanks both for your replies. I'm sure my husband feels the same. I need to chat with him.
As for reducing material costs we are a little stuck as we moved for family reasons last year that didn't work out and this means housing costs are a lot more. Not impossibly so and we are all so much happier in this house. Other issue is my job is ONLY full time and I do love it. Plus very short staffed - which obviously doesn't reduce any work related stress!
I think I'm mildly depressed which doesn't help general outlook does it?! Waiting for counselling and starting to do some mental health first aid to help myself.
First step is talk to husband isn't it. Not always easy, he's very quiet as well as being defensive and I know I've not been easy to be around for a long time (on and off snappy, shouty etc)

leaveittothediva Tue 20-Sep-16 00:37:47

Your right, you need to have a long talk about what you both want to do. Sound like it's just life grinding you down. And please even if you think you are only mildly depressed, see your GP. If you want my help with small ways to reignite things, I'd be happy to pm you. I won't put them on here, out of fear of being roasted. All I can say is they worked for us. Best of luck.

DooWhop Tue 20-Sep-16 22:38:57

Thank you so much leaveittothediva.

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