A month ago I broke up with my partner of 4 years. I came on here seeking advice on whether I should or not as I wasnt sure at the time. Anyway, I did, as I was really fed up of his constant grumpiness and not finding any happiness in anything we did.
For the last month he has been absolutely devastated about it. At first I was adamant I didn't want to be with him, but realising how much he does really love me has made me feel differently. I can't bear the thought of him being so distressed either, which I realise now is because I still love him.
I think one of the main problems is that his very best friend committed suicide a year ago and my DP was in complete pieces over it. He tried to pull himself together and get over it but I believe some of his behaviours have stemmed from this tragedy. My (ex)DP in the last month has been to his GP, been referred to a counselling service which hes been doing, and is also starting to go privately, he acknowledges he should have started this a long time ago.
I still love him, and I know he utterly loves me. However I am wary of giving it another try (we split up before a couple of years ago because of arguing). He can be a difficult man but he is so loving and we are just made for each other in so many ways which I wont start listing here.. But when you know, you know don't you!
Do you think it is worth another try?
He has a million great qualities other than being a grump quite often, but he knows that I wont stay in a miserable unhappy relationship and that if we have any chance, he is going to have to grow up on that front (he's also started anger management)!
I would really like to hear what people think. Thank you.
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Another chance?
Shayelle · 18/09/2016 07:52
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Hi Cary, tbh I was having a great time just being on my own, I was really happy. But it was hard to live with the fact knowing he was in a terrible place. He's also made hints at suicide before too (even when we were together) and I was really frightened he was going to hurt himself when I first split up with him. I got in touch with his mother and his brother and told them about the situation, they were pretty useless though, left him to deal with his shit on his own.
I wouldnt have been able to live with myself if he'd done anything.
At the same time there have been times where I've missed him.
Im a bit confused at the mo. We are talking again and getting closer but I just dont know. Im wondering whether its me, do I have issues, do I just not want a relationship at all? The more I try and think about it the more confused I feel!! 
Thanks quitelikely. Its not really a scream as such 
more like a sort of dull sense/instinct... I also feel like things should be different after four years. But im not sure i know what a healthy relationship should be like as i dont think ive ever experienced one so not sure exactly how things should be, if you see what i mean. We've had some fantastic times together though and I just dont know if I want to throw ut away.
Sorry for sounding so confused
Thanks superstar. Its just that i do want him to do this for himself, but i do want to be in his life too, think i am going to have to gave The Conversation to say that he needs to work on himself first before we get back together... Which isnt going to be an easy one but I know its the RIGHT one, as thats what feels the right thing to do in my heart. Thanks so much everyone for all your replies it has really helped me again 
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