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How do I find someone else?

(19 Posts)
Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 13:23:30

It's been 18 months
Haven't dated anyone sense.
He still is the first thing I think about (cheesy as that sounds)
I can't get him from my mind
I still cry every day.
I'm so sick of my life.
Il never meet anyone else who I feel the same way about,and I don't ever see myself being happy.
I think I'm depressed,I just don't care about anything anymore.
I've massively let myself go,not to be disgusting but haven't washed my hair or had a bath for 10 days.
I just can't be bothered anymore.

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 13:23:40

Since not sense.

MephistoMarley Sat 17-Sep-16 13:28:41

Go to the GP and get treatment for your depression. You may find you get over him in the process and if not - you will be in a position to do things to distract yourself which will help you get over him.
With all due respect, hoping to find someone new to get over the old guy isn't a good strategy.

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 13:31:18

I don't even know if it's because I love him or if I'm just depressed.
Maybe if I wasn't depressant I would see him for the looser he was.
I've been give tablets from the doctor called sertraline (if anyone has heard of them) and diazepam.
I've taken the diazepam but I'm scared to take the others as the doctor said I would feel worse before better.
I'm just so tired.
I feel so worthless at the minute ..kind of like he didn't want me so I'm a nothing.
I'm just sad I think.

cafenoirbiscuit Sat 17-Sep-16 13:43:15

Take the meds. And have a hand to hold. You sound very low but by reaching out you clearly want things to be better. You may not feel worse before you feel better - some folk do and some don't but every day is a day nearer to feeling better. Hold onto that thought xx

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 13:52:31

He has just had a baby and I keep checking for new pictures etc.
I don't know why I'm doing it.
He made me so unhappy and was so nasty yet he gets the happy ending.
I read a story about a girl who died and she was 27 and for a split second I was envious of her.
At least shes out of it all now.
I'm trying to find things to keep me going but struggling.
I keep thinking of him together with new gf and baby and I'm just a nothing to him..

Mytownisdraggingmedown Sat 17-Sep-16 14:13:15

You are depressed. Get on medication and within 3 months you will feel a lot better. Also get out walking/running/gym. Exercise is good for how you feel. Eat well, sleep well and don't overdo the drinking.

You shouldn't be crying every day after that long so that with the other things you have said would point me in the depression camp. Don't suffer in silence. It's the chemicals making you feel like this not him.

cafenoirbiscuit Sat 17-Sep-16 14:15:06

The terrible thing about depression is that no material or situation change makes it better. Ask yourself this. If you had broken your leg, would you refuse to get it fixed because you don't think you're worth it? Your emotional and mental health is just the same: if it's injured, it needs repairing and there's no shame in that.
When I had PND, I'd hope the car would crash, or that I wouldn't wake up. Depression feels exhausting and terrifying, it feels like the world will never be the same again.
Do you work, have relatives or friends? How do you fill your time?

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 14:33:07

Yeah I have a couple of really good friends and one in particular who I confide in and she's trying to help cheer me up but nothing works.
We met for a coffee earlier but I just felt like I was going through the motions ..smiling when I should be smiling etc.
It's not only feeling so low I've been having stomach problems too,cramps lack of appetite etc and that's apparently because of how I'm feeling.
I'm meant to be going to the cinema tonight to watch the new Bridget Jones film and then for a meal with her but part of me just wants to cancel.
I don't work no ..I was made redundant 6 weeks ago when the place I worked went bankrupt.
Another thing.
I'm loosing my temper as well all the time over stupid things.
I don't have a boyfriend at the minute ..well not for 19 months now.
I look at myself in the mirror and hate myself,I buy clothes but feel like your horrible so what difference does clothes make..you won't look any better for it.
I have 1 other friend but she couldn't care a less.

Mytownisdraggingmedown Sat 17-Sep-16 14:37:30

You are only feeling that way because you are depressed. Go to the doctor this week and get it sorted. Tell them what you have said on here.

ArthurFoulkesayce Sat 17-Sep-16 14:40:50

In a situation like this with depression it's time, literally time and medication.
It's taken me 4 years to sort myself out and build and love my life.
When I learnt to love myself and all I have (cheesy) I met someone.
Six months down the line he's everything I wanted, if I had met him four years earlier I don't think it would have worked.

Take time to grow, build and prosper. Use and utilise your support networks

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 14:42:17

I've been refered to a counsellor too for CBT
I'm quite sceptical but willing to try anything.

cafenoirbiscuit Sat 17-Sep-16 14:42:44

Lack of appetite is a classic sign of being depressed - that churning anxious feeling is so horrible, or just feeling full all the time.
Try to go out this eve just to have a change of scenery, and to fill some time in. And let me know whether it's worth seeing grin
Have you still got the sertraline? Take one if you do. I think 18 months is long enough to feel awful.

cafenoirbiscuit Sat 17-Sep-16 14:43:28

*whether the film is worth seeing !

Boomshackalacka Sat 17-Sep-16 14:45:22

Yeah I've still got them.
Only got it on Monday.
Keeping looking at it and putting it in the draw.
I wish I could just snap out of feeling like this but I can't ..I have that feeling when your nervous about something but I'm not nervous about anything.

YvyB Sat 17-Sep-16 14:58:33

Take the sertraline. They have got me through a couple of really horrible periods in my life. If they don't help after a couple of weeks, you can ask your gp to try a different brand: took me 2 gos, but it was so worth it.

And you'd be AMAZED at how many women whose lives look lovely from the outside take ADs. I now think of my anxiety as an 'adrenaline allergy'. When things are stressful, I produce more adrenaline than my brain can naturally regulate, so I get all the symptoms of anxiety. When the pollen count is high, I produce too much histamine and get all the symptoms of hayfever. I take antihistamines to keep my hayfever under control with out a second glance, so I now take sertraline to keep my reaction to adrenaline under control. Taking ADs really isn't any more sinister than that smile

cafenoirbiscuit Sat 17-Sep-16 19:14:48

Hey Boom - are you going out? Hope so xx

Stop putting the Sertaline in the drawer and start putting them in your mouth.

Did the GP give you diazepam because of anxiety, or something else (e.g. muscle spasms)?

Have you been feeling more low since you lost your job? I have been made redundant 3 times in my life and the first time was horrendous. I felt utterly worthless and that I'd never get another job. I did though!

Mytownisdraggingmedown Sat 17-Sep-16 20:03:39

CBT is excellent if you get a good CBT therapist. Give that a go too. They teach you some really useful tips to help the anxiety/negative thought patterns

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