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Needing help... please!!

(6 Posts)
hancrouch Fri 16-Sep-16 16:15:43

Okay this is a bit of an awkward story but its also sensitive but i would please appreciate honesty!!

I have a 5m old daughter from my ex (who is 19, i am 23). We were together for 3 months when she was conceived and we found about her 5 weeks later, and we discussed things, then WE decided to keep her. he broke up with me about 2 months later. things didnt end well and were not nice either. I was severely hormonal at the time so things got nasty. His brother was on my side the whole time and he was discusted by what his brother had done to me. and the fact he just ended things with no reason apart from "things werent working. i tried to make things work but they didnt" he never said a word about it to me at all when we were together and then hardly spoke a word to me until the day my daughter was born. 5months later!!!!

I grew close with his brother during this time, we became great friends and i realised then that maybe i had been with the wrong brother! We get on so well, he makes me laugh, hes kind, hes generous and he love my daughter more than a the actual father!. He then got out of a long relationship a few weeks later and he has 2 kids (one born a few weeks ago). we grew apart for a few months and he went off and had been with other women and and i have been with other men but i never felt anything close to what i feel for him!

Recently we have become close again and he makes me feel ten times better than i have ever felt with any other man!

What are everyones thoughts of me being with my exs brother? I get on well with the family, and they have no concerns with me at all. i get on very well with them. We havent said anything to the family as we are keeping things quiet just now just to see how things go. To be honest i see nothing wrong with it and i have always advised people to go with their hearts. I have known my ex's brother for a long time, a lot longer than i knew my ex. He's never been a huge fan of his brother and im not sure what his feelings are about everything but he has been telling me how happy he is and that he wants to tell his brother and family and will deal with any consequences but wants to make sure things go okay first..

jeaux90 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:33:25

Hey Hancrouch. Sounds like you have been through a lot! Erm a lot! It also sounds very confusing. As a 44 year old single mum of a 7 yo DD who has been through the mill a bit I am going to say something very boring to you. Focus on you and your child. Your happiness and thinking about maybe how you want to get back into work or perhaps you are and want to re-train etc do things for you and stop worrying about who to be with . There is nothing better in the world than being an Independant woman. Nothing to stop you from seeing this man at all, just take things slow. Make it about you and your child. With hugs and best wishes for your future X

MiddleClassProblem Fri 16-Sep-16 16:39:28

Wow, so whilst pregnant and within the first 5 months of your daughters life you have been with multiple men? How do find the energy? I mean I struggled to even brush my hair!

FellOutOfBed2wice Fri 16-Sep-16 16:45:22

I'm not one to judge- I've done some questionable things in my youth- so if it's true love, then follow your heart. However, it does feel a touch icky. Just putting that out there. People are going to be grossed out by it, rightly or wrongly.

legotits Fri 16-Sep-16 16:49:16

I would avoid all that drama.

Seriously it will improve your life, move on.

MiddleClassProblem Fri 16-Sep-16 16:53:12

At the end of the day he's not your brother. That would be gross. It's nothing that other people haven't done. My SMIL married brothers one after the other.

Maybe date and see what it is first.

and let me know the secret to all your energy

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