Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Spending too much time together

(10 Posts)
lamii Mon 22-Aug-16 19:37:37

Hi all,

You seem to be all very experienced with relationships so I am going to seek advices from you. I feel like my fiance and I spend too much time together with nothing exciting to do and this is having a negative impact on our relationship.
We moved to Sweden one year and half ago, and we don't have friends here. Life is boring, people aren't fun and we don't have friends. We used to live in London where we both had friends and enjoyed arts entertainment.
He seems to be picking on everything I say and I feel like I don't have any secret garden anymore.
I want to move back to London to get a social life back and I am hoping to improve my relationship as well. I have stopped the contraceptive pile and I feel worried sometimes that the relationship ground isn't good enough at the moment. But maybe this is naive, people shouldn't have a perfect relationship when starting to conceive...?

If you have advices for me, I will be happy to read them!

TheNaze73 Mon 22-Aug-16 20:13:25

For the sake of your relationship, doing nothing, isn't an option. You must be both so suffocated.

lamii Mon 22-Aug-16 20:30:33

@TheNaze73
For sure! Evenings are really long...we spend a lot of time on laptops. Week-ends are boring. We are simply not inspired with the lifestyle where we live.
I should try to find things to do.

pocketsaviour Mon 22-Aug-16 20:42:15

I have stopped the contraceptive pile and I feel worried sometimes that the relationship ground isn't good enough at the moment^I have stopped the contraceptive pile and I feel worried sometimes that the relationship ground isn't good enough at the moment.

I'm sorry, what? You have basically decided to get pregnant with someone you don't have a good relationship with? confused

lamii Mon 22-Aug-16 20:44:01

@pocketsaviour We do have a good relationship but at the moment it is less exciting because of the current situation.

bestofbothhovis Mon 22-Aug-16 20:45:03

I feel like this atm. Me and DP spend too much time together but he gets really funny if I try and go out with friends so it's difficult

lamii Mon 22-Aug-16 20:47:18

@bestofbothhovis Maybe go out with girls only?

isthistoonosy Mon 22-Aug-16 20:50:32

Hi from a fellow uk in Sweden
Are you in the city? Lots to do and loads of expats in the bigger places.
Are you working, learning Swedish - basically trying to get involved?

Oh and having a kid doesn't open up a new world if friends, and is tough with little to do and no help. A dog on the other hand. smile much more of an ice breaker.

HeddaGarbled Mon 22-Aug-16 20:51:09

If you have a child, it is highly likely that you will not be legally allowed to take that child from Sweden to the UK or anywhere else without your partner's permission, so it is vitally important that you decide where you want to live long term and be there before you have a child.

lamii Mon 22-Aug-16 21:12:15

@isthistoonosy Hi there! I am in Stockholm yes. I have started learning Swedish and I am self-employed, I share a working space with other people. I really don't find much to do here apart from working. I am into arts...People aren't chatty and I haven't made any Swedish friends in two years.
I am 34 so I can't really wait any longer to start having a family. Thanks for the dog suggestion ;)

@HeddaGarbled Neither of us is British, so if we return to the UK it will be fair. Here I am in the shadow of a society where nobody cares much about the others, and being a foreigner make it worst. My fiance and I both lived 8 years in London.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now