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Always being the "chaser"

(4 Posts)
Rainbowunicorn73 Mon 22-Aug-16 07:57:58

Just wondering how many of you, in friendships, always end up being the "chaser"
IE the one who sends the initial, shall we meet messages and generally organises and follows things up?
I consider myself lucky to have many lovely friends but for the most part it will be me that initiates meet ups and does the organising.
People will generally agree quite readily and we all have a great time so I know they're not one sided friendships but just wondered, does anybody else find themselves falling into this role?

Joysmum Mon 22-Aug-16 08:05:28

Yep.

I'm very organised and so that's the unwelcome side of this, people naturally defer to you.

Add in to that that many of my friends aren't in relationships or don't have children and they think I'm busy or they'll be in the way and it's another thing that puts the ball in my court.

I used to take me being the one to keep asking as a sign they didn't value me as much as I do them, but it's really not the case.

Jaynebxl Mon 22-Aug-16 08:12:17

I do more of the organising than my friends but I think it's because I'm more extravert. So long as I know they are keen when i do suggest stuff I can live with that.

Margo3791 Mon 22-Aug-16 15:10:18

As long as your friends follow through and organise once in a while, it's fine imo. The problem is when they start cancelling all the time or not responding to your invitations. I am going through a very low time at the moment and don't feel like initiating meet ups, but I accept invites from my friends and do stuff with them, even though I am very tired and social situations really drain me sometimes. I know it's a phase and will be back on track at some point but at the moment I can't cope with the organising.

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