Hello this is my first post here. I am male, a husband, a father and very disturbed at the moment. There are other relationship forums out there but mumsnet is a trusted one so am posting here. Looking for some advise and what others have done who were in the same situation.
The story...
Am 34 married for 7 years now and have a loving daughter (right now she's my everything I live for). My wife is 30. Our relationship was all good at the start of marriage. We had a lot of fun outings etc. A normal relationship. We had our first kid 4 years ago. Everything was very nice and happy. Then We started to argue a bit on very small things nothing serious. Very little things revolving around the baby and mostly due to sleepless nights (usual thing after a new born baby). With time things started getting well. however my wife always complained about not supporting her after pregnancy. But (am being very honest here) I did all I can to take care of the baby ..even holding a crying baby on shoulder all night and try to make baby sleep, nappy changing, washing/sanitizing milk bottles at 3am in the night and plus having to go to work all day. I honestly feel it was a joint effort (me and my wife) to handle the extra load of work. But I always used to get those taunts from my wife when at social gathering, when in a group of friends... I didn't really mind but to be honest I got pissed at times... that was it.. nothing serious nothing alarming over the past years we still enjoyed outings, watching movies.. inviting friends at dinner etc etc...
Now about a couple of months ago I discovered she is cheating on me from last one and a half year with one of my close friend (at least I thought he was close). It was the shock of my life. I never thought I will see such a day in my life. I fortunately happened to catch her red-handed. On confronting she confessed everything and say she is very sorry. Long story short.... I won't go in details what all they did and stuff.... she says it was just infatuation nothing else and it will never ever happen again..
I do not want our relationship to end and after lot of time I decided to forgive and move on...My daughter is very fond of her (of course very obvious she is a mother) and as a mother my wife is also very good and caring. Thats very reason I decided to forget & move on. I do not want my child to ever suffer because of us.
Ok that said.. now I am finding it very difficult to forget what happened to me. Every time every moment i feel insulted. My life is just shattered and trying to get it back again. However hard I try to forget as soon I reach home in evening the thoughts of betrayal surround my mind like hell...
Am not sure if counselling will help at all... Sorry for such a long post I just felt like sharing with someone and posted it here ... I don't have anyone to share it with as all the people around me know my wife as well as that friend she was having affair with. I fear embarrassment. Its such a shame I always thought myself to be a sound and mature person but strange that am not able to deal with it....
Are there any good online counselors I can talk to?
Thanks for reading...
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Betrayal after 7 years - Need help
7 replies
rm2016 · 17/08/2016 23:12
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.