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What does "getting your ducks in a row" entail?

(11 Posts)
WTFisThisShit Thu 11-Aug-16 20:56:54

If you make a decision to leave a marriage what should you do to "get your ducks in a row" ?

I want out. He's an EA, narcissistic, intimidating, arrogant arsehole and I've took my limit now

WTFisThisShit Thu 11-Aug-16 21:06:08

Would I be entitled to any legal aid?

Cary2012 Thu 11-Aug-16 21:14:02

It means, getting copies of financial documents, bank statements, mortgage or rent stuff. Going on entitled to website, putting stuff in their calculator as a single person, seeing if you qualify for any benefits. But the biggest duck is SHL duck. That's a shit hot lawyer. If you don't know one then go to your local CAB, they will give you a list of local family lawyers. Many offer a free hour consultation. Go to a couple, find the one you click with, they can tell you about legal aid, go ready with questions. Your ducks in a row, ....keep them secret before you release them!

WTFisThisShit Thu 11-Aug-16 21:27:36

I'm just afraid of the financial repercussions, I think I'm going to have to start all over again with nothing

Cary2012 Thu 11-Aug-16 21:31:05

Do you have kids? A joint mortgage?

Diamogs Thu 11-Aug-16 21:31:59

I'd add squirelling away:

Secret stash of money if you can
Get passports, birth certificates, precious photos to a friend if you think access to them may be difficult when you announce that you are leaving / if you have to run away
Get a bag packed with clothes, nappies, toiletries, toys etc - enough to tide you over if you need to go in a hurry, leave it with family / a trusted friend
Copies of your DP/DHs bank statements, pay slips, pension info etc

mineofuselessinformation Thu 11-Aug-16 21:34:02

Definately withdraw as much as you dare from joint accounts. (I used cash back when shopping for groceries and hid the money in sanitary towel wrappers as I knew he wouldn't look there.)

WTFisThisShit Thu 11-Aug-16 21:34:38

Yes kids and a joint mortgage

WTFisThisShit Thu 11-Aug-16 21:36:14

I will gather as much info as I can, passports etc, I have been saving but need more money

FreeFromHarm Thu 11-Aug-16 21:36:56

Have you reported to,the police with regards to assaults at all ? Get your free half hour and they will be able,to tell you if you are legible for legal aid .

FreeFromHarm Thu 11-Aug-16 21:39:07

Please call women's aid also, give them as much info as you can. I planned for over a year to leave, but it can be done a lot quicker

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