Hi,
Apologies as I feel this could get a little incoherent. I am feeling pretty down lately and a bit hopeless and I would appreciate some sdvice.
I'm from abroad and have lived in England for almost 10 years. When I got married my husband said we would move back to my country in 2 years. But he has a now 12 year old boy. I believed him. And shouldn't have really but I was honest saying that was where I wanted to live. Totally understand since becoming a mother myself that it would be really difficult for him to leave his son.
We had a massive argument where he was vile to me after going out all day on a work social do and came back pissed up. Issues were - me being upset about a song which reminds me of my ex boyfriend who committed suicide 9 years ago. He said he would put that song on just so he could see me cry. He said I would never leave him as he is too successful. And a few other things but these were the most upsetting. Slept on the sofa that night (and I'm shaking as I type this, it upset me that much). He knows that I can't talk to him when he's like this because I am scared of him, but he is not violent.
And he and I disagree on his sons behaviour. They have a family saying (can't mention as it will be too incriminating) but it's to do with anger issues and the red mist. DSS was rude to me about the amount of syrup on his pancakes if just made him and stropped off, then was asked to apologies and stropped more. I said don't bother making him as it upset me more that he wouldn't apologies (he had had time to cool down) so dh was upset with me as I should just get over it. It's just one event that's indicative of the ongoing battle.
We are also ttc child no 2. But I do feel very alone as I have very few friends, live and work surrounded by his family and often feel like running away back to my parents. I realize this isn't the answer but I feel hopeless to improve the situation as I never know when I'm next going to upset dh and struggle to cope with DSS s moods.
I realize that I am not perfect and part of the problems also as I'm withdrawing to protect my feelings and making it worse.
Any positive advice on how I can improve my attitude to the situation or how make things seem more positive would be really appreciated.
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it feels so complicated
19 replies
aussiemumtobeuk · 08/08/2016 10:29
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