Needing to vent about my completely useless partner, reached the end of my tether.
Been in a relationship for 7 years, very charming at the beginning but I've let go of a few situations that should've rang alarm bells ie accusing me of cheating on him multiple times , he himself cheating on me, history with swingers (each to their own but that lifestyle is not my cup of tea at all and repulses me).
However things seemed to look up when we had our first child. Things did go on that I wasn't too pleased about such as constant gambling and drinking.
These things have gone from bad to worse gambling everyday his whole wages gets spent on horse racing and roulette, drinking every day does nothing around the house as he seems entitled to the fact that because he's done a days work I have to take on all of the childcare duties as well as keep the house tidy and make his meals while he doesn't lift a finger instead a drinks plays computer or gambles. All the while I'm raising my child, doing a college course and working part time (he doesn't like me working at weekends mainly because he then has to take on childcare duties and this stops him from doing what he wants ie drinking and gambling, may I mention that childcare includes both our child and his own child from a previous relationship, it is me who mainly looks after her).
We both have recently lost a child which is still a very raw and emotional time for me, I have been off my work. He expects me to fulfill his sexual needs, not sex he just wants a blow job every night. No effort to make me feel wanted just his own selfish needs!! It makes me so angry!!! I am off anything sexual anyway but mainly because I cannot stand him.
Why am I still with this man may you ask? Honestly have no idea, he can turn on the charm and be nice when he wants to be but still would spend every penny gambling never mind paying off essential bills and means for us to live as a family.
He frequently complains that I bore him as the only contribution I have to conversation is what we need in the house and setting rules about when our child goes to bed. He is just not interested in doing anything as a family unless it benefits him.
He drinks in front of the children and even when I am away trying to make money that I constantly have to hide from him so I can at least have some means to live on.
I just don't know what to do, I feel ashamed to tell my family, his family are well aware but are only interested in me keeping him away from them, just tell me to leave him but how when I have no where to go.
He demands constant attention and takes medication for anxiety and depression, makes me feel like I'm a bad person if I don't look after him or that I'm a bad parent for complaining that I do everything for the kids (even tho he does fuck all!!!)
It's not a future I want to see myself in.
But he was so supportive to me in both my births (the recent stillbirth included) it's like he has a split personality. !!!!
What do I do, I feel trapped in a relationship with someone who truly doesn't value me and is bored of me doesn't want to have the normal family life
That I desperately crave.
He could read this and still spin himself to be the good guy and me the unreasonable one.
I am currently sat with his kids in the house while he is in bed watching football and drinking and gambling while not interacting with them even his child who he hasn't seen for days.
I had tried withdrawing money from him but he reacts in a volatile way I often give in as I don't want him causing a scene in front of the kids. I know I am enabling him but it's too difficult for me, especially as I am still experiencing grief from my lost baby.
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Relationships
Please help, my partner is completely and utterly useless!
Babylionn2 · 29/07/2016 20:33
The thought of being tied to the likes of him would scare me more than going it alone 
He was lovely during childbirth and recent stillbirth? You know what? So are most men, even absolute losers and bastards. I am so sorry for your loss.
Also,you do NOT have to give him a BJ every night. End of. He is a nightmare and you do need to move on without him but while you get ready, please stop doing this. Tell him you've got oral herpes, anything but you do not have to do it.
This can be better. Talk to people in RL and make plans. 
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