Long time lurker but this is my first post I have no one in the real world to talk to so hope I can get some advice.
Me and my husband have been married for 3 years together for 6, at first we had a very good relationship however over the past year it's deteriorated rapidly to the point where I'm not sure there's anything left to save.
Last year was a really difficult year we found out we couldn't conceive naturally and had to under go IVF, I found the whole process very difficult and emotionally draining at one point I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown I was crying all the time - he'd come home and find me in bed crying uncontrollably - I told him how I felt and he told me he'd seen someone go through a nervous breakdown and this wasn't what it looked like and that I was being over dramatic.
During treatment I became very ill to the point I could barely walk, one night he came home from work late and asked what was for dinner I said I thought we could order pizza as I wasn't feeling well enough to cook, he started shouting about how he expected dinner on the table when he got home and didn't stop until he'd reduced me to tears, then he acted like he didn't know why I was crying.
The beginning of this year we finally got the good news that I was pregnant however his behaviour has continued to be unsupportive, I've had very bad spd which means I can't stand for long periods and have been told by physio not to clean as I end up in pain for hours afterwards he moans about cooking, hasn't cleaned the house in months it's literally filthy, I try to do it and then will generally end up in agony after, if I ask him to rub my back he rolls his eyes and makes a half arsed effort at it for 5 minutes.
We haven't had sex for several months, when I bring it up he says he'd love to have sex but never initiates anything, I've given up trying there's no affection from him and no intimacy.
I've recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, when I told him I'd been referred for councilling he just changed the subject, then acted all confused when a friend asked if I was ok and had seen a councillor yet. He said he didn't realise even though I've been telling him how I feel for the last year!
I've told him so many times that I feel unsupported, that he's offered no emotional support that I'm desperately unhappy and I feel like divorce is the only option as things aren't getting better, he doesn't listen.
I'm really worried about giving birth with our relationship the way it is, several times I've had painful pelvic cramps and he's ignored me almost crying in pain when I challenge him it's always "I didn't realise" - I'm right in front of him!
I'm also concerned about having a newborn in the house with the relationship between us. I don't live near family I have no where else to go, a few weeks ago we had an argument and I almost went to stay in a hotel I couldn't really afford it though so in the end I went home.
I really don't know what to do anymore, I feel so alone and so unloved, I feel like we're broken and there's no fixing it.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Feel like we're heading for divorce
8 replies
Misspuddleduck · 28/07/2016 02:25
OP posts:
overthehillandroundthemountain ·
28/07/2016 03:00
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
overthehillandroundthemountain ·
28/07/2016 03:00
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
overthehillandroundthemountain ·
28/07/2016 10:19
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.