I'm married with 2dc and I'm in my early 40s. I'm a sahm and I do love my dh and children, but I'm so unhappy and I don't know how to carry on, or what's wrong with me.
Outside of my dh, I don't have any friends at all. I thought I did, but unless I chase them, I never hear from them and they don't make any time for me.
I try to be a good friend; I always remember birthdays, etc and I always say yes if they need anything from me. I listen to their problems and try to offer support/advice when needed, but I don't hear from them unless I contact them first.
I've tried leaving things to see if they'll contact me, but I end up giving in because I'm so lonely. The longest I've left things has been 7 months. I've asked previously if I've upset them and apologised just in case I have, but they always say that I haven't and that they're just busy, but surely the odd text only takes a second.
I'm not as fun/can't do as much as I used to due to poor health, which is not going to improve, so I wonder if that is the problem.
I'm going through a lot atm with my eldest dd and I could really do with a friend to talk to and some support. It's got so bad and I feel so lonely that I can't stop crying. Just writing it all down is upsetting. I feel like a worthless, useless person and I must be because no one values my friendship. If I knew how to fix myself, I would.
If I knew what puts ppl off of me I'd try to change it. I just wish someone would tell me what I do wrong.
I'm pretty sure I have Aspergers, and I know I can go on about things and can share too much to soon, but I'm a loyal friend and would do anything to help anyone who needs it. I never thought I was an awful person, but I'm starting to think that I must be if no one ever wants to make an effort to stay in touch with me longterm. I'm the common denominator so it must be my fault.
I don't want to go through life like this, but I can't see a way out. I've tried joining clubs, etc, but I always seem to be on the outside.
It's become so bad that I just feel like walking out the door and disappearing for good. I really don't think anyone, except my immediate family, would miss me and that hurts.
What can I do? How do I make myself more likeable? Any advice appreciated.
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What's wrong with me?
18 replies
Cantgoonanymore · 02/07/2016 17:45
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