I've posted about my family and my situation on few threads but thought it was easier to start a new one for this.
My family cut me off 2 1/2 years ago for unknown reasons, throughout this time I've sent Christmas cards/gifts in an attempt to be the bigger person but received nothing in return finally last year I decided to go NC as the relationship was clearly toxic.
In the meantime I found out I was pregnant so felt I had to tell family, they showed no enthusiasm and so after 12 week scan I stopped trying to involve them.
I'm now 33 weeks, a few weeks ago I get a phone call out of the blue from step father, I missed it so got dh to call back as I find dealing with it all too stressful. Step father then went on at length about how my mother didn't understand why I didn't want her in my life and she was upset on missing out on her daughters pregnancy ect. Dh said he would talk to me about it, we agreed to maintain NC, my mother hadn't actually made any effort just got step father to do it.
2 weeks later a massive parcel arrives full of expensive baby clothes all gender specific, which we never told them so they must have got from other family members. There were 2 parcels in 1 package 1 from my mother and the other from grandmother.
Gm parcel was addressed solely to her great grand daughter which really concerns me NM parcel to me and dh at least.
I was going to send thank you cards with a simple thank you message but my anxiety has been really bad and I didn't get around to it yet, yesterday I noticed NM has now unfriended both dh and myself on Facebook.
I'm not sure why this has upset me so much? I know this is probably the desired impact.
I'm now considering sending the cards with a note in outlining why I'm upset with them as in their behaviour is not acceptable and if they want a relationship with DC They need to modify their behaviour as it's not fair on my but especially not fair on a child.
I know this is stupid, GM is the bigger narc and this clearly shows as she refuses to acknowledge me as DCs parent even now I have serious concerns about them having contact but at the same time we live several hours away and so I could control contact to some extent although I know this could/would still be damaging.
If you've read all that thank you! I think I know the answer is in my post really, that I should maintain NC but I feel terrible about it, I can hear them clucking about how ungrateful I am not even a thank you when they've spent so much money etc.
I'm also incredibly sad at not really having any family to share this time with MIL was asking did I know the details of when I was born etc. I had to make it up because I'm too ashamed to tell them my mother won't speak to me.
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Wavering on NC with family
18 replies
Fuzzywuzzywasabear · 02/07/2016 02:16
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