My DH comes from a pretty dysfunctional family - my MIL is superb at emotional blackmail and both MIL and FIL (divorced 30 years) are very self-centred. I let this roll over me but am beginning to realise that DH is also self-centred to the core and this is now affecting our DDs. He prefers DD1 to DD2 as DD1 is more active and so he spends much more time with her. He seems unable to let things go and I am sure his IBS (4 years on) is a symptom of this and of his need to control his environment and his family. He won't do anything for his IBS except take the pills. Now he has another health scare, his dad is officially dying of cancer and not living with cancer, and he has no coping mechanisms except anger. DD2 didn't make him a card for Fathers Day (she just forgot) and so he told DD1 that he was really hurt that DD2 didn't make him a card. So DD1 told DD2 and DD2 was very upset. AIBU to tell him that at 50 he should have more emotional intelligence than a 10 year old - he's the big person? This is just the latest in about 20 years of this kind of behaviour and its really affecting the DDs as they come up to teenage years. They love him but I am at the end of my tether - but feel I can't do anything drastic given the FIL situation.
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AIBU to expect my DH to control his emotions round the DDs?
4 replies
farnorth · 19/06/2016 17:58
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