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Silent treatment - narcissist or depressed (possibly both)?

(15 Posts)
wowxx Sun 22-May-16 18:01:45

How do you know if someone is giving you the silent treatment because they are narcissists or because they are depressed?

Not sure if this makes sense, but is there a difference between the silent treatment from a narcissist and the silent treatment from a depressed person?

Thank you

InaMay Sun 22-May-16 18:08:12

Hard to tell since they aren't saying much to give us a clue, OP, what with being silent and all... You should be guided by how they are before deciding to go mute.

CitySnicker Sun 22-May-16 18:12:26

Was there a strop before the silence? Did you say no to something?

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast Sun 22-May-16 18:12:35

One is a punishment for you, and will be to make you compliant.
The other is just silence..turned inwards not outwards, and is self destructive.
Not all use of silent treatment as punishment is narcissistic though..sometimes its just being an arse...or not exploding..hard to say without more info.

indecisionindecision Sun 22-May-16 18:25:34

Have you considered asking the person what's going on? In my limited experience, people who are ignoring you because they can't cope for some reason tend to be apologetic and make it clear that they know they are not behaving normally. The one narcissist i knew denied that he was ignoring me and told me it was all in my head (making me feel as though i was in the wrong) and it soon became clear that the silent treatment was being used as a form of control.

wowxx Sun 22-May-16 18:26:39

I think he is both a narcissist and depressed, but sometimes I wonder if right now he is giving me the silent treatment because he is depressed.

He ignored my messages for a while, out of nowhere he texted me and we had an argument because he accused me of many things and called me horrible names, I refused to see him because of the way he treated me, then the silent treatment started , weeks before this he gave me the silent treatment for no reason.

wowxx Sun 22-May-16 18:28:42

indecisionindecision I have tried to ask him many times, but he ignores me every single time

pocketsaviour Sun 22-May-16 18:31:11

Is this a (would-be) romantic partner, or a family member, OP?

PreAdvent13610 Sun 22-May-16 18:31:13

Stop messaging him, problem solved. Find someone else.

Fourormore Sun 22-May-16 18:34:10

Does it matter what the reason is? How would each answer impact what you do in response? Is it behaviour that you can tolerate?

Imbroglio Sun 22-May-16 18:58:08

People who have narcissistic traits are often very unhappy because they are unable to cope with negative aspects of their lives, eg not winning or not being chosen. Instead of processing the disappointment (learning from the experience, finding coping strategies and recovering) they will project it and make the hurt someone else's fault. The longer this goes on the more they will feel miserable and probably depressed.

What makes you think he's depressed?

Do you have a choice about having this person in your life?

Summerwalking16 Sun 22-May-16 18:59:07

usually it's because they are otherwise preoccupied ...

Canihaveanamechange Sun 22-May-16 22:13:45

Are you in a relationship with this person?
How long have you known him?
Is there any backstory? E.g. If you are in a relationship, do you have children meaning you have to stay in contact with him?

Hissy Sun 22-May-16 22:23:16

Block his number. Don't have anything more to do with him. Whoever he is.

Resilience16 Mon 23-May-16 21:15:55

Does it really matter why they are giving you the silent treatment? If someone is arguing with you and calling you horrible names one minute, then ignoring you the next then it isn't a healthy or loving relationship and you need to walk away.

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