Can't take anymore

[Onthedowns]

My DS is 11 weeks suffering severe silentl reflux and cmpi taking gaviscon ranitidine omprezole and on nutramigen . He won't sleep on his back accept for earlier in eve on his carry cot then it's when he is exhausted. Naps during day mainly in sling. Hates his crib His symptoms haven't improved. I am sat here now been up 330 and have had 5 hours broken sleep before hand. DH helps with 11/12 feed but has work so into bed at 2am. We are sleeping in different rooms for weeks. Both exhausted I have a 4 yr dd too. I can't take anymore. DH helps but doesn't do anything round house just goes to work. Weekends he finds time to do hobbies but then moans about being tired. He is out st football match tonight and I am dreading it he has stag dos coming up to how Can I manage when there will be no sleep. I spent most of the weekend with both DS again as DH was doing garden etc with dd, fine but he doesn't get that I have DS 7 days a week all day. It's affecting my renstiondhip with my dd as I am short grumpy tired, she doesn't have any respect for me anymore and we are now arguing I front of her. If I say anything about football etc I get told to speak up when I have done this I get called moaning cow i can't win. I have had no break in 11 weeks since he was born. DH goes to work trains football, has been on night out till 3am.

[Joysmum]

I would make the assumption that when he's had a night out, you then have a night out. If he has a day at the weekend to do a hobby, you then take the following day off. Match his leisure time.

Think about where you could go to get some peace and quiet but more importantly, leave him to it so he realizes how difficult it is compared with going to work.

[Kr1stina]

You sound exhausted and no wonder !

Your DP needs to grow up , cancel the football and do some parenting . I'm afraid that life has to change a bit when you have a poorly baby .

[Tryingtowait]

Hi, I really feel for you as I remember when ds was that age he had cows milk allergy and terrible colic, he used to scream all the time and I used to cry feeling pretty useless. What with the hormones just having a baby and the sheer exhaustion it felt never ending. I used to read about babies sleeping through really young and be so envious! And I only have one child so must be a million times harder for you.

As others have said dh needs to help more, but I was also wondering if your/his parents are around? I remember one night my dad took my ds and me and dh went out for a meal and a couple of drinks and went home and slept I felt human again! My ds only woke for feeds that night then straight back to sleep apparently. I rang a lot to check on him. Dh then seemed to see the struggle and was more helpful. Don't know if it's possible or that it would help you.

You're a strong mummy and well done, it won't last forever

[Onthedowns]

Thank you it's grinding me down. My family are abroad for 7 weeks patents have a holiday home although help when they come home, mil not in a position to help. Siblings work full time. Trouble is no one understands either DS I say keep him upright etc but they just think he is being naughty not sleeping or we are doing something to make him not sleep. It's getting to the point I am torn over my DS my life was easier before DH pushed for another baby but now sometimes I regret having him. He was premature and in scbu for 3 weeks also. DH moans about tiredness etc but doesn't do anything to help himself. We have hardly any money no family holiday this year but DH has found the money for stag doos probably total cost of £500. If I mention it I get an earful it's showing me some things in a different light

[Tryingtowait]

My ds was 5 weeks in nicu for prematurity too. When a baby is born prem and they have other issues saw well it can be difficult to bond with them. like you can't just hold them when you want the machines and wires that keep them going can create a huge barrier between you. I always love ds but early on I wondered if he was a mistake I put that down to exhaustion and me feeling a failure.

Your dh doesn't sound very helpful. It's ok him thinking about stag dos and him time. But what about you time?what about family time? You sound very lonely at the moment. it can be very isolating with a poorly prem. I can't believe people think he's naughty or you're keeping him awake?! I think I would have punched someone in the face if they'd said that while I was so exhausted.

[Jan45]

Sorry OP, but you'd be better off as a single parent, I assume he is not blind so is fully aware of what you are having to cope with, help?....with his own bloody kids, makes me mad, these men who are so selfish it's unbelievable.

A relationship is meant to be a partnership, two equals, who support each other at all times, your OH sounds like a spoilt brat wanting his own way all the time, personally I'd make a life without him in it.

[Onthedowns]

I think that's what I am starting to think. He expects me to tell him not to do these things as soon as I speak up it turns into an argument . He feels he's entitled to do these things I understand but if I do or spend anything I get moaned at. He doesn't understand how hard work it is with two kids, I get out as much as I can which helps but now I want to sleep but can't as he is out till at least 1130 then won't be around as he has work. Mil seems to think it's fine also both sound like something out if the 1950s.

[Onthedowns]

After 3.5 hours sleep I am up fir the day he didn't get in from football until 11.45 I had to Take DS into bed only chest for half hour as couldn't physically stay awake, God knows about the rest of today

[bert3400]

We had bad reflux with my 4th DS. I went against all advice and put him to sleep on his tummy. As the HV said to me "well mine all slept on their tummys"
Sometimes you have to find something that works for you . Do you have any family support ...your husband sounds like a selfish twat

[Onthedowns]

Hi don't have family support no ! He won't settle on his tummy ! So now getting worried it is becoming habit also!