My H walked out on me at christmas time unexpectedly after 20 years together. We have two DC and thus are in constant contact, which is difficult.
I think I have been coping well. I am proactive, have made lots of changes to suit my new life, the children are coping well and I have fantastic support.
However I get waves of sadness sometimes. I am usually able to be upbeat but sometimes the disbelief and sadness threatens me and I can't push it aside the way I always try to.
I am very scared of crying. I don't want to be someone who cries. I am terrified of crying on my own, as the thought of it feels really sad and scary to me. I know this may sound ridiculous. I have only cried two or three times since he left.
My question is this - does crying actually help? I have felt quite down the last short while and have been resolutely trying to be upbeat and plan nice things. However today an understanding friend pressed me on how I was feeling and I had a tiny, short cry with her. And wow I feel so much better! I am not sure why. It's more than having a sympathetic ear as I am lucky, I have that and make use of it and am so grateful. But crying and letting it out has lifted that heaviness from me and I feel light again and able to cope.
Is this a thing? Should I actually let myself cry when I am feeling like this instead of fighting it? I so hate the thought of crying over him, I don't want him back and my life is good without him. But he has so shocked and hurt me, I sometimes feel drowning (just temporarily) in rage and grief. Then it eventually passes and I can get on with being happy. But if crying would speed it up, I could maybe let myself do it?? Not sure. Apologies for sounding such an idiot!
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Does crying really help?
intheairthatnightfernando · 02/05/2016 18:51
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